Morning After

By Autopilot

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything.

Rated R

"Captain, you’re pregnant." The Doctor’s face was carefully blank as he faced his astonished commanding officer.

"I’m what? Surely there must be some kind of mistake, Doctor? I’ve just got a little indigestion…or maybe it’s the Thalusian flu that’s been going around?"

The Doctor firmly shook his head. "There is no mistake, Captain. You are pregnant. The fetus is approximately twelve weeks along and is perfectly healthy. I can give you more information as soon as you come to sick bay for a more extensive exam. I will prescribe that your replicator add the necessary vitamins to your diet, and I believe you should cut down on your caffeine intake to only one cup a day."

Kathryn kept shaking her head. The Doctor handed her the tricorder, folding her hands around it. "Look at the readings, Captain. There is no mistake."

Kathryn forced herself to study the readings.

The Doctor said gently, "I won’t need to remind you that your birth control boosters are not up to date. Captain, I’m assuming that you and your partner were aware of the possibility that…"
Her eyes flashed as she looked at him suddenly. "That will be all, Doctor."

The Doctor swallowed all the things he felt she needed to hear and gave her a brisk nod. He gathered up his equipment, but he hesitated at the door of her ready room. "Captain, if I can be of any help, I’d…"

Kathryn just gave him a steely glare, "Dismissed, Doctor." Her face clearly let him understand that he’d pushed as far as she’d allow him to. When the doors closed behind him, Kathryn allowed her hands to drift to her abdomen. A baby…she was having a baby. A sound escaped her…a sob, or was it laughter? She let her thoughts drift to the last diplomatic mission she had been on three months ago.

 

 

Kathryn slowly woke from a wonderfully vivid dream. She often had fantastic dreams and fantasies about her sexy first officer, but this one was even more stimulating and surprising than anything she’d ever imagined; she stretched sensuously, savoring the moment. She was reluctant to lose the last vestiges of the dream, but she came fully awake when the heavy weight of a muscular thigh suddenly draped over her legs, followed by a large hand that came to rest upon her breast.

Chakotay groaned softly—his head spinning—and rolled to his side. He froze when he came into contact with the soft, warm body of a woman. He felt his body reacting to the heat and scent of her before his mind screamed for an explanation. He opened his eyes to see a pair of startled blue eyes looking back at him.

"Oh no!" Kathryn whispered hoarsely and sat up quickly clasping a sheet to her naked breasts. She groaned and then clutched at her head, letting the sheet fall unnoticed, before slumping back down on the bed.

Chakotay tried to remember how they had gotten here, why they were naked, and most importantly what had happened between them! "Kathryn?" He saw her tense up when he said her name, but he couldn’t use her title when his hand still tingled with the memory of her warm breast. "Kathryn, what happened? How did we get here?"

Kathryn kept her eyes closed as she stifled her own horrified reaction to their predicament. She tried to force her thoughts into order. "I need a minute, Chakotay, my head is spinning." She took a few deep breaths and slowly sat up, pulling the sheet tightly around her.

Chakotay could have groaned for a different reason than his head now. He tried to force his body to no react to what the diaphanous sheet was outlining all too clearly. She was so beautiful—too much for his sanity or for decorum. What had happened? He wanted to remember…especially if it was what his body had hungered for all of these years. He had always assumed that if he and Kathryn ever made love, it would be a conscious decision, not something that—happened—to them! This would end in catastrophe if Kathryn thought he was in any way responsible.

"Chakotay, the last thing I remember is having a glass of wine with the Complex Director and sitting down to enjoy some of their entertainment." She kept her eyes fixed firmly on his face as he sat up cautiously.

Chakotay nodded his head carefully and said, "That is my last recollection as well." He saw her shoulders relax minutely and he suppressed a sigh of relief. "We should contact the ship and check on the status of the rest of the landing party."

Kathryn curtly nodded her head and slid towards the edge of the huge bed they were in. She was struggling to keep the sheet wrapped around her and to fight the spinning of her head. Chakotay watched her momentarily before he spoke, "Kathryn, move slowly. You could injure yourself if you fell. I’m just as dizzy, so let’s just take this a step at a time."

Her mouth looked grimly determined. "Agreed, but the first priority is our clothes and our comm badges."

He put his feet on the floor and slowly stood. Their clothes were strewn in a path that led to the door. It painted a pretty clear picture of their state last night when they reached the bedroom. He knew Kathryn was going to be furious when she saw this, even though she logically knew he was not at fault. Chakotay cleared his throat and reached down to pick up a very feminine, very sexy non-regulation bra. "I believe this is yours." He smothered a smile.

Kathryn felt her face flushing all the way up to the roots of her hair. She resisted the urge to throttle Chakotay and said as civilly as she could manage, "Why thank you, Chakotay." She took a step closer to him, and stumbled over a boot. Chakotay caught her arm before she could fall and grinned outright as he saw her ire rising.

Kathryn glanced up and caught his smile. "One word, Chakotay, and I’ll wipe the floor with you!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender, flourishing her lacy bra like the proverbial white flag of surrender. "Not a word, Kathryn."

Kathryn growled and grabbed her bra from him. She picked up the boot and brandished it in his direction. "Don’t make me use this, Commander. I want to hurt someone very badly at this moment." Chakotay kept grinning at Kathryn, as she stood there threatening him with a boot while wearing only a filmy sheet. Kathryn tossed the boot over her shoulder and grinned back, though her smile had an edge. "Let’s get dressed and find out who is responsible for this, before I find a real weapon."

Chakotay nodded in agreement. At least their friendship would survive this. Although this was not how he had imagined their first morning after lovemaking, he knew his feelings for Kathryn would also endure.

They quietly gathered their clothes and turned their backs to each other to dress. Chakotay jammed his legs quickly into his trousers, first things first—get an explanation for their predicament. He paused when he pulled on his T-shirt to inspect a bite mark on his shoulder. Chakotay grinned, wondering if he’d given her a memento of their evening as well.

Kathryn was angry, but not at Chakotay…at least not any more. She felt humiliated, cheated and violated, and someone was going to pay! She glanced over at him where he stood dressing and saw the scratches on his back as he pulled on his tank top. Damn, damn and damn again!

Chakotay cleared his throat and turned, catching her eyes. He grinned and asked, "Ready to go get answers, Kathryn?"

Kathryn glared at him. He might not be responsible, but that grin was going to cost him. He wasn’t taking this situation very seriously, considering the consequences if the crew learned of what had gone on here last night. There was a buzz at the door.

Chakotay stepped over and released the lock. The Complex Director stood there smiling widely. "Good morning." he gushed. "I wished to tender my felicitations and my thanks for your participation in our harvest festival. My people will be very eager to trade with you now that you have honored us so. Your goodwill and sincere intentions have been amply demonstrated for all to see." He beamed at them.

Kathryn clenched her fists at her sides and asked in a deceptively calm voice, "Director Shauri, forgive us, but I’m afraid we are confused about the events of last night. We remember the toast, but its effects and what followed are unclear."

The Director smiled paternally and handed Kathryn two ampoules. "The initial participation is always the most challenging to recall. Its beneficial effects of bringing us closer together with our loved ones and the resulting bliss outweigh this small problem. Fortunately, tolerance and clarity is built during subsequent celebrations. The ampoules contain the counteragent that should help you with any residual effects. If you and the Commander wish to take part in the remainder of the Septime festival, you are more than welcome. You will suffer less from memory loss with further exposure."

Chakotay could have laughed aloud, realizing that the Director was guilelessly infuriating Kathryn with his obtuseness. He’d better intervene before Kathryn exploded. "Director, thank you for the invitation. We would appreciate it if you could tell us the location of the rest of our landing party, please."

Director Shauri turned giving Chakotay a slight bow. "Of course, Commander. Captain Janeway ordered the rest of your delightful party back to your ship just after the final ceremonial toast."

Chakotay caught Kathryn’s eyes and gave her a nod, and Kathryn’s tension dissipated as she realized that this mess could be kept quiet. She cleared her throat, "Director, we appreciate the kind offer of joining in your celebrations, but our journey must continue. We thank you for your attention and for the opportunity to trade with your people. We will be returning to our ship and as soon as the transfer of material is complete we will get underway."

The Director bowed to them both, smiling widely, mouthing pleasantries before Kathryn called for a beam out.

Kathryn paused on the transporter pad, ignoring the curious look from Ayala who was at the transporter controls. "Chakotay, would you join me for dinner? We can discuss…the negotiations."

Chakotay grinned, "It would be my pleasure Captain. 1900 hours?"

Kathryn nodded and strode out of the room. She took the longest path to her quarters so that she wouldn’t have to share the turbolift with Chakotay. Once she reached the privacy of her suite, Kathryn took a deep shaking breath, letting the command mask fall away. She covered her face with her hands but jerked them away almost immediately. She groaned. She could still smell his scent upon her skin. She hurried to the sonic shower. She’d just put all of this behind her and tell Chakotay that the subject was off limits; they had a command relationship to maintain, and she couldn’t risk that. She’d just forget all of it.

 

A baby…Chakotay’s baby. She sat there lost in thought until the door chime brought her firmly back to reality. She stood and strode over to sit behind her desk. She had never needed any props to her authority before, but she was badly shaken. She cleared her throat, "Come." She kept her voice cool.

"Captain?" Chakotay stepped in cautiously. "Everything all right? The Doctor looked pretty upset when he left, and he gave me the strangest look." His face invited her to confide in him.

Kathryn dropped her eyes to the padd she had blindly picked up. She didn’t want Chakotay to pick up on her confusion. "Our good Doctor just came by to help me out with a bit of indigestion." She forced a fake smile. "One of Neelix’s recipes."

Chakotay laughed and came closer to her desk. "Thanks for the warning."

Kathryn stood abruptly and dropped the unread padd on her desk. "If there’s nothing else Commander, I believe I’ll be in my quarters."

Chakotay concealed his surprise. "Of course, Kathryn. It’s a pretty routine shift and I’ll call you if there’s a problem."

Kathryn gave him another forced smile as she nodded and strode past him. She quickly entered the turbolift, ignoring the curiosity of the bridge crew. The Captain never left her shift early…she was a notorious workaholic.

Chakotay struggled with his concern as he watched her leave. He finally returned to her ready room and called sickbay on Kathryn’s desk monitor. "Doctor, is there anything I need to know about the Captain’s status?"

The Doctor’s face showed his discomfort, as he prevaricated, "No, Commander, the Captain is perfectly healthy. For someone who drinks too much coffee, skips meals, and who doesn’t sleep enough, that is." His attempt at levity and his hearty smile didn’t fool Chakotay.

"And her indigestion was not serious?" He was watching the hologram closely and saw the minute hesitation.

"Her indigestion…is all taken care of Commander. She should be as good as new." He picked up a padd and avoided looking at Chakotay, "If there’s nothing else, Commander, I was in the middle of some tests so…"

Chakotay thanked him and deactivated the monitor. So Kathryn had lied to him, but why? He decided to talk to her after his duty shift. He could always drop off a status report as an excuse.

Kathryn didn’t look surprised to see him when he arrived unannounced at her quarters after his duty shift. She was wearing a silky blue caftan and had her hair pinned up loosely. She stepped aside motioning him to come in.

. "Would you like some tea, Chakotay?" She tried not to let her inner tension show in her voice.

"I’d like that, thank you." He smiled at her and sat down on the sofa. He noticed Kathryn was also having tea and commented upon it.

Kathryn looked even more uncomfortable as she avoided looking at him. "I’m hoping it will settle my stomach."

Chakotay saw the opening and took it. "Still suffering from indigestion? I thought our good Doctor was more effective than that."

Kathryn put her tea aside and turned to meet his eyes. "I didn’t tell you the whole truth this afternoon, Chakotay."

He nodded to let her know he’d already guessed that. Kathryn took a deep breath and sighed deeply. Nervously she stood and walked over to the viewport.

"Can I help you Kathryn?" Chakotay leaned forward in his seat, but restrained the urge to follow her.

"You’ve done quite enough already!" She immediately turned, one hand covering her mouth and the other hand held out to him. "I’m sorry, Chakotay." She walked over to sit beside him again and took his hands in hers; her expression was contrite.

Chakotay didn’t hide his concern and his surprise over her shift from venom to penitence. "What’s happened, Kathryn?"

She took a deep breath, but the words stuck in her throat. Instead she burst into tears.

Chakotay was horrified. Kathryn rarely cried and when she did it was usually for her crew—their pain and losses, never her own. He hadn’t ever seen her so emotional. He pulled her into his arms cradling her head against his chest with one hand and rubbing her back soothingly with the other.

Kathryn pulled herself together quickly, embarrassed at her loss of control. She wiped her eyes and said in a firm voice, "I’m ready now, Chakotay."

Chakotay swallowed hard. "Just tell me, Kathryn." He braced himself for the worst.

"I’m pregnant, Chakotay." Her voice was soft, but it was getting stronger. "I’m pregnant with your child."

Chakotay froze for an instant, but his arms crushed her to him as he sprang to his feet. He let out a whoop of exultation, spinning her around for a second.

"Chakotay!" her panicked voice stopped him cold. "Please, Chakotay. Please don’t spin me around anymore. I’m afraid I get my morning sickness in the evenings." She smiled queasily.

Chakotay blushed and solicitously led her back to the couch. "Can I get you something, Kathryn?"

She shook her head impatiently. She held his hands tighter as she said, "It was that night planet-side. My boosters weren’t up to date, and I assumed yours would be." She looked sheepish, "if I hadn’t been so furious at the whole situation I would have thought to ask you."

Chakotay smiled but he felt compelled to ask, "I know that this baby isn’t planned, but how do you feel about it, Kathryn?"

Kathryn squeezed his hands. "I’ll admit to being less than thrilled when the Doctor told me. Having a baby on a ship that’s stranded in the delta quadrant, after a one night stand isn’t quite what I pictured in my future."

Chakotay felt the knot tighten in his stomach. "I never intended for us to be a one night stand Kathryn. You’ve known for years how I feel about you. Even if you only think of me as a friend…"
Kathryn gently touched his cheek but her face was sad. "Chakotay, I do know how you feel, but our circumstances haven’t changed. We’re still senior officers on a Starfleet vessel. This pregnancy just makes our situation that much more complicated. I can’t let our feelings affect the ships welfare."

Chakotay bowed his head for a moment as his thoughts raced. He knew that if he let her Kathryn would shut him out for the rest of their journey but he couldn’t face that possibility. He looked back up to meet her eyes squarely. "Kathryn, do you believe that our baby won’t change our circumstances. This is our baby, Kathryn. Ours. We will be raising a child together." His eyes reflected a sudden fear. "You are having this baby aren’t you, Kathryn? You’re not planning on terminating this pregnancy are you?"

Kathryn shook her head, giving him a lopsided smile. "No, Chakotay. I’m not considering termination. In fact I want to have this baby." She stood up and walked over to stare out of the viewport. "I realize this pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I…I am going through with it." Her hands dropped down to her abdomen.

Chakotay moved to stand behind her. "Kathryn," his voice was soft, "thank you. I know it couldn’t have been an easy decision."

Kathryn shrugged her shoulders diffidently, but didn’t turn to face him.

He put his hands on her shoulders, "Kathryn, what made you decide to have our baby?" She stiffened at his touch. "I’m just wondering…because you said you wanted to have ‘this’ baby. Do you want to have my baby, Kathryn?" Still she remained taut and silent, his questions washing over her. "I’ve always imagined us having children together. I wanted us to have a big family together. I pictured us back on Earth, taking picnics with our kids—I’d do the cooking of course." He caught her quick smile in the reflection of the viewport. "I thought of first steps, first words, sleepless nights. I pictured how you would look with our kids piled in your lap for story telling. I imagined tucking them in at night with you, and being able to wrap my arms around you every night. I fantasized about our life together, Kathryn."

As he spoke he pulled her slowly back against his chest before he wrapped his hands around her waist. He kissed her hair and continued to whisper into her ear. "From the moment we met, I knew my life would always be bound to yours, Kathryn. My future would be with you…and with our children. It’s that thought that has supported me through all the lonely nights here. It’s been my companion through all of the hardships. It’s been my comfort when we’ve become distant from each other. But I’ve never doubted it, Kathryn. Ever. Just like I don’t doubt my love for you. It’s as natural to me as breathing."

Kathryn sighed and relaxed against his body. She turned in his arms to look up at his face. She smiled, "You do know that your sincerity is completely disarming, don’t you?" He grinned and she continued, "and I always thought your dimples were your greatest weapon."

She saw those devastating dimples appear briefly. "What am I supposed to do, Chakotay? Do you want me to throw the rulebook out the window? Should I put all of my years of training aside? Are you asking me to put my feelings above what is best for our crew?"

Chakotay paused thoughtfully before he answered. "Yes and no, Kathryn. The rulebook doesn’t apply here and that training was just a jumping off point. And as for your feelings…well, Kathryn. I think our crew would tell you that your happiness is what is best for them. Even Tuvok would point out the fact that our command structure is unusual for Starfleet. Our circumstances here in the Delta Quadrant have warranted it."

Kathryn didn’t look convinced.

"The most important question is what do you feel for me, Kathryn?" His face was grim.

She swallowed hard, and tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly. When she finally did meet his eyes, she looked resolved. Chakotay knew she was going to condemn them to loneliness once again.

"Chakotay, I only feel…" her voice trailed off as his hands moved to touch her face gently.

She took a deep breath and began again. "Chakotay, my first responsibility is to my ship and crew. Captains don’t have the luxury of falling in love with a crewmember."

Chakotay leaned down to kiss her gently. Kathryn groaned.

She looked at him mutely and he leaned down to kiss her more deeply.

When he released her, her knees were suddenly weak, and she clung to Chakotay. "You certainly don’t fight fair. Do you?"

He grinned unrepentantly at her, "Blame my Maquis training, Kathryn."

She took a deep breath. "You won’t give up, will you?

He shook his head. "I can’t, Kathryn. I love you too much to give up."

She shook her head, her face reflecting her chagrin. "Well the whole truth then. Chakotay, you have always been my friend, but my feelings…well, I’ve always…I mean I…" She threw her hands up in the air and grinned at him. "It must be love, Chakotay, otherwise I wouldn’t be bungling this so badly."

Chakotay laughed and shook his head. "Since I’ve never seen your diplomacy training fail you. I guess it must be love, Kathryn." His smile faded slowly and his eyes held hers. "I love you, Kathryn."

Kathryn reached up to caress his cheek, "I love you too, Chakotay."

"We’ll make it work, Kathryn."

Kathryn had never seen him so happy. "I don’t have any doubt." She smiled, "So who should we tell first?"

Chakotay picked her up, cuddling her close to his chest and went to recline upon the couch. "Well, I’d have to say Tuvok, since I think a wedding is in order…but after that. Well B’Elanna obviously, since she’d kill us otherwise. It’s not wise to upset a pregnant Klingon."

Kathryn laughed as she snuggled against his chest. "Good choice. Maybe we should just invite the whole senior staff here tonight and get it all out in the open. Of course I could just throw decorum to the stars and run through the halls shouting that I’m in love with my first officer. Either way, Tuvok will be appalled!"

Chakotay laughed as he appreciated the picture Kathryn painted for him. "Or we can spend tonight together, telling each other how much we love each other. I do believe we have a baby on the way and neither of us remembers even kissing."

Kathryn looked up. "I do believe that situation should be remedied… immediately, Chakotay." Her eyes sparkled up at him as she saw he was only too happy to comply with her order.

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