Sleeping Beauty

 By Autopilot

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything and we're all so happy for them.

Rated PG-13

Chakotay came around the corner and blinked in surprise at the sight of Kathryn hovering outside of the door to his quarters. He paused to watch her. She stood there still wearing her uniform, fists clenched at her sides, face torn by indecision. He took a few steps closer and heard her mutter, "What the hell am I waiting for?"

"Good question," Chakotay said, watching as she started guiltily. He grinned as she swung around to face him.

"Chakotay! But I thought you were…" She pointed towards his closed door. "The computer said that you were in your quarters." Her hands fell to her side, but continued to clench and unclench nervously as she talked.

He nodded. "I left my commbadge in my quarters. I decided to take a late night stroll through the ship. I needed time to think some things over."

Kathryn smiled tremulously. "I’m afraid Admiral Janeway’s visit has given me a lot to think about as well." She studied his face, her eyes strangely pensive. "Well, it’s late and you…"

"Come in for a glass of tea, Kathryn?" he interrupted. He waited for her nod before he stepped past her to punch in his door code.

She relaxed at his use of her name and entered his quarters almost diffidently. She looked around and turned to where he stood by the replicator. "You’ve changed a few things, haven’t you?"

Chakotay tugged at his earlobe self-consciously, "Yes. Someone made a few suggestions. Do you like it?"

Kathryn nodded, walking around the room. She saw the remains of a romantic candlelit dinner on the table with two wineglasses. One of the glasses still bore traces of lipstick. She turned away resolutely and turned to caress a blanket that was lying over the arm of the sofa. She froze as she recognized it. It was the blanket the young alien girl had given to Seven when she and Chakotay had crashed their shuttle on a trip to a scientific conference. It was a subtle confirmation of what the Admiral had told her.

She heard the Admiral’s words echoing in her head. "Seven of Nine is going to die. Three years from now she’ll be injured on an away mission. She’ll make it back to Voyager and die in the arms of her husband… Chakotay. He’ll never be the same again after Seven’s death and neither will you."

"Kathryn." Chakotay stood there looking concerned. His face made it clear he had been trying to get her attention for a while. "Your tea." He held out her cup.

She sat down and accepted the cup, covering her discomfort by taking a sip. "Thank you, Chakotay."

Chakotay sat down next to her and watched her avoid his eyes. "Do you want to talk about something?"

"No. Everything’s fine… just more of my usual insomnia." She put her cup down nervously.

He frowned. "Well, it’s not every night I find you hanging around outside of my quarters. And your thoughts have been a million miles away since you’ve come in." He waited expectantly.

"No, Chakotay." She smiled but the sadness in her eyes told a different truth. "Not a million miles, just twenty years or so."

He touched her hand. "The Admiral?"

"Yes," she whispered. Kathryn reached out to pick up her teacup, but her hand was shaking too badly. "She came to my quarters tonight. The things she wanted to say were purely personal." Kathryn swallowed hard. "The Admiral didn’t try to spare my feelings… not about anything." She looked up at him and gave a shaky laugh.

Chakotay gathered her shaking hands, cradling them gently. "Do you think you can talk about it, Kathryn?" He leaned in closer, his thumbs caressing the back of her hands softly.

She took a deep breath. "The Admiral came back to get us home sooner. Tuvok needs medical help that he can only get on Vulcan because without it he’ll suffer permanent and irreparable brain damage. And…"

He waited, letting the silence stretch out. When he realized she was struggling to continue he leaned in closer. "What else? Did something happen to you? Or to…" His eyebrows rose.

She glanced up quickly, her eyes silencing him. "Indirectly. You see, Chakotay, the Admiral told me about my life. I had a glorious career; I achieved all I ever dreamed of but it was empty. Because the one thing I’d hoped for all the years here in the Delta Quadrant...well it was too late by then." Unshed tears trembled on her lashes.

Chakotay frowned in confusion. "Empty? What was it too late for, Kathryn? I don’t understand."

Kathryn stared down at their joined hands. "The Admiral told me about you and Seven, Chakotay." She felt his hands jerk in surprise. "She said that you married her but that she was killed before Voyager returned to Earth. She said that you were never the same after Seven’s death."

He surged to his feet, pulling his hands free violently. "What?" His voice held a note of panic.

Kathryn stood as well, her eyes boring into his. She reached out to him but her words continued relentlessly. "She told me that when you married Seven—that when you walked out of the Admiral’s life, you took her heart away with you."

 

Chakotay paled and took a step back. "No."

Kathryn stepped forward and gripped his uniform, holding him there, forcing him to listen. "When the Admiral told me about your relationship with Seven, my soul froze inside of me. The pain, the ache in my heart smothered all of the denial my mind could muster against the Admiral’s revelation. All of my love, my desire, my hopes for a future with you were suddenly dust. I shut down under the realization that I’d blinded myself."

Chakotay’s hands came up to cover hers, at first trying to loosen her grip and then clinging as her words battered him.

She continued mercilessly. "I blinded myself to the possibility of another woman." Kathryn moved in until their faces were inches apart. "We both have had our little flings with passing aliens and holograms but I thought that what we shared was more important, more enduring than those. But until now…until Seven, neither of us have sought a relationship with a person on board Voyager. Why? Why, Chakotay? Why her?" Kathryn’s voice was anguished and angry.

Chakotay closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his composure. His voice was ragged; "Kathryn, Seven and I are dating. That’s true. She sought me out to help her to learn more about humanity. It began as a teacher and a pupil, nothing more, but she is a beautiful woman. I care about her, but I didn’t… I don’t intend on it becoming more than that. If I did, don’t you think I’d have been more open about it? I know what’s between you and me, though there have been times it’s seemed more like wishful thinking on my part than reality." Chakotay’s hands moved to grip her shoulders fiercely. "I love you, Kathryn. I can’t tell you why I married Seven. That is just one possible future, and I’m not going to try to rationalize or justify actions that I haven’t taken."

Kathryn stared up into his heated eyes, dueling with his gaze. "I love you too, Chakotay."

He smiled then. "Damn it, Kathryn, then don’t you think you could show it?" He waited until he saw Kathryn’s smile before he lowered his head to kiss her. His lips were tender, gently touching hers.

Her hands relaxed against his chest under his caresses. Slowly they moved up to thread through his dark hair even as the kiss deepened.

"Don’t leave," he whispered as she pulled back.

She met his gaze, one hand caressing his tattoo. "Never." She grinned then. "Just try and get rid of me."

The next day, Admiral Janeway sat back from her terminal, contemplating the short message that still glimmered on the screen. It was unsigned but she knew the author nonetheless.

It read: ‘When he kissed me, I felt like Sleeping Beauty from the fairy tale. The part of my soul that yearned for him… the part of my heart that loves him… it came to life again at that kiss, wiping away all of the pain that other possible future created. And like the fairy tale, Sleeping Beauty and the charming Prince who saved her from lifelessness will live happily ever after.’

The Admiral smiled and took another sip of coffee. Today they would successfully return Voyager to the Alpha quadrant and like a bad dream, all the years of loneliness would vanish like smoke. Some things were worth any sacrifice. Her lifelong love for Chakotay was one of those things and now…now she had given her younger self the life she’d imagined for so long. Yes, today would be a good day. Her smile widened. She liked happy endings.

Feedback? Pretty please! Autopilot