Captain Kathryn Janeway stood in a dim corridor with bare walls bathed in red light. Turning she saw windows and looked at the beautiful yet harsh landscape. The view was as unmistakable as the heat.

"Beautiful in a monotonous and uncomfortable way isn’t it Kathy?" Q was leaning against a corridor wall watching her. "It’s probably why Vulcan’s turned to logic, its most exciting thing on their dreary little world."

Kathryn bristled, "I’ve always found Vulcan to be beautiful in it’s simplicity, but I assume that I’m here for more than a tour of my favorite planets."

"Charming, as always Kathy." Q came up until he was looking down into her eyes. "This concerns your lively security chief of course."

"Why is Tuvok here? You said he was in command of Voyager. Is something wrong? Is it T’Pel? Are his children..."

Q interjected, "Kathy, if you would only open your eyes and ears, and then shut your pretty mouth for a moment, we will see what Tuvok is up to." Q positively rejoiced over getting to pull her up short.

Kathryn glared at Q, but turned as she heard voices. She traced them to a room. She saw an older Vulcan standing beside Tuvok who was seated on a pillow on the floor gazing at a meditation flame. Kathryn paused in the doorway to listen.

"Tuvok, you have yet to explain your expulsion from Starfleet. It is time to break your silence and share the information, my son." The older Vulcan, obviously Tuvok’s father sat down across from him.

A fleeting expression crossed Tuvok’s face, which to Janeway’s eye’s looked like pain.

"The subject is a difficult one father. I have been endeavoring to understand the events that led to the end of my Starfleet career." Tuvok’s voice betrayed no feeling.

"My son, from the communiqué’s that were released by Starfleet at the end of their review of your command decisions in the Delta Quadrant, it is clear that you were removed because of the choices you made. In particular the decision to abandon the Ocompa, and to use the array to return to the Alpha Quadrant."

Tuvok’s spine straightened. "Father, my conclusions were based upon my understanding of the Prime Directive. It guided my judgment and I still believe that I took the logical course of action."

"Tuvok, the entire federation is dedicated to seeking out new life and protecting them from harm." The old Vulcan’s voice was gentle but it held an undeniable reproof. "My son, your failure is that with all of your years among the species of the Federation, you fail to see that logic does not have the same weight when it is balanced against the lives, and freedom of a species."

Tuvok’s face became bleaker as he nodded and straightened further.

Kathryn came and knelt beside Tuvok. To her, it was like a knife twisting in her stomach, to witness her dear friends dishonor and his pain.

Q came over to kneel on the opposite side of Tuvok. "See Kathy, you weren’t there to help Tuvok in his evolution among you noisy feeling humanoids. He was drummed out in disgrace, because no one taught Tuvok to temper logic with compassion." His voice was compelling.

Kathryn turned her eyes to meet Q’s, as Tuvok’s father rose and left his son in silence.

There was a flash of light.

** **

Tuvok looked up from the console in Astrometrics as Seven entered the bay. He returned his attention to the calculations he was working on. "Seven, I trust your trip to sickbay was satisfactory."

Seven approached the console to make some updates on the ship trajectory.

When she didn’t offer a reply, Tuvok looked up to find her studying him. "Seven?"

"Although I did not find the opportunity to speak to the Doctor, I did find the visit with Ensign Kim to be beneficial." Seven looked unsure for a moment, before continuing, "Commander, I am concerned at the Captains absence. Captain Janeway has been my mentor and she has challenged me to explore more of my humanity than I wished or anticipated. Her presence has enhanced my experience here on Voyager and I have never taken the opportunity to inform her of this."

Tuvok had stopped his work to listen. He cocked his head to the side as he said with an introspective look, "Seven, it has been my experience that Captain Janeway is a unique individual. It has been an honor to both know and serve with her. She has shown herself to be a woman of many contradictions. She manages to balance logic with intuition. She is indomitable and vulnerable. She has the ability to find solutions and to maintain her crews welfare, even though she has paid a high price in the process." He paused for a second and straightened as if bringing himself back to the situation at hand. "I believe the Captain is aware of your regard for her Seven and returns it. She does not require you to verbalize this."

Seven looked thoughtfully at Tuvok for a moment before saying, "You are perhaps correct in this Commander. In that case, I will thank you for your influence in my life here on Voyager."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow and looked uncomfortable. "I suggest we return to our work Seven."

Seven nodded and turned back to the console with a slight smile on her face.

Q had his hands over her eyes when they flashed into their next location.

"Surprise!" he cried as he removed his hands with a flourish.

"Sandrine’s" Kathryn whispered as she recognized the French bar from Tom Paris’ holodeck recreation of it. She turned to Q, "Tom?" The name was a question and its answer as Q nodded.

They entered the bar together and it only took Kathryn a moment to spot the sandy blond hair of her best pilot. Tom was playing pool, and to judge by his face, he was winning.

The face of his Nausican opponent was not as happy about the game. Tom chalked his cue flirting with two women, while the Nausican took a turn at the table.

Tom didn’t look as clean-shaven or upbeat as she knew him on Voyager. Kathryn had forgotten how bitter and vulnerable he’d been when she had first met him.

"So Tom is back on Earth?" She asked Q.

"Tommy boy never left. Captain Cavitt didn’t feel that a convict had anything to offer, either to the mission or to the almighty Starfleet. So he served his sentence and ended up here. Enough to make a father proud, isn’t he?" Q’s voice dripped with sarcasm as he looked from Kathryn to Tom.

Tom was back at the pool table, obviously running it. With a last brilliant bank shot, he straightened and looked at the Nausican.

"Well Kreg," Tom said with a cocky grin, "I guess now you’ll have learned your lesson and benefited me in the process." His grin, which Kathryn had seen all too often, grew wider when the Nausican growled.

"Nothing to say Kreg?" Tom looked at him with mock surprise. "Well, always a pleasure taking you for a ride. Come back anytime." Tom then pocketed the credits and turned to offer an arm to each woman.

The Nausican started foaming at the mouth and charged Tom bringing down both his fists onto Tom’s back.

Tom staggered face first into a table as the women retreated shrieking. He quickly rose and turned to confront his attacker.

Kreg, who had a knife in each hand and was bellowing with rage. "Come on you puny excuse for a man. Come and play a real game!" The Nausican’s voice was barely distinguishable in his drunken rage.

"Now Kreg," Tom said in a placating voice as he wiped blood from his mouth, "it was only a game of pool. Next time, I’ll spot you a few balls. Let me buy you a drink." As if he couldn’t resist, Tom added, "After all, you’ll be paying." Tom waved the credit chips mockingly.

The Nausican reacted predictably. He charged. Tom sidestepped but the knife skimmed his arm as he dodged. The sight of blood only made the Nausican gleeful. The tables hampered Tom’s retreat as Kreg maneuvered Tom back towards the pool table.

"Q, do something!" Kathryn had a death grip on Q’s arm as she saw Tom’s peril. "Don’t make me stand here, helpless, while Tom’s in danger!"

"Why Kathy, I wonder if I should be jealous?" Q raised an eyebrow mockingly.

"Q, Tom is dear friend to me, and he deserves more than this." Kathryn waved her hands to indicate the bar scene.

"We are here to watch Kathy, and only to watch!" Q was pitiless.

Tom picked up his pool cue as he felt the table’s edge dig into his leg. He parried and blocked a few passes of the knife blade, but it was obvious to Kathryn that he was outmatched. The Nausican had brute strength and rage. Tom only had cunning and luck.

As his defenses lagged, Tom suddenly switched to the offensive. A few of his swings were connecting and he was able to move a step away from the pool table. His next swing of the cue, nearly connected with Kreg’s skull, threw Tom off balance. Kreg saw the opening and ducked in under the flying stick. His forearm hit Tom across the throat and threw him back onto to pool table. The Nausican held him there for a moment to say gloatingly, "You are about to play your last game of pool human." He then quickly ended it by burying his knife through Tom’s heart and into the pool table.

Tom’s luck had run out.

"No!" Kathryn screamed as she lunged towards Tom’s body. "Q, it can’t end this way!" Her voice was a wail.

Q gathered her back in gentle arms as her eyes was glued to Tom’s pale, still face. "Yes, Kathryn. You see Kathy, our Tom never got a chance to turn his life around. No one believed in him enough to show him he could. Tommy will never fall in love with the Klingon girl, never marry, never father a child, and he’ll never have friends he cares for or who care for him. He died in a bar fight still estranged from his father, and still in disgrace."

Kathryn covered her mouth and sobbed.

There was a flash of light.

** **

"B’Ellana."

B’Ellana Torres swung around at her name and found Tom Paris standing in the doorway.

"Tom," she nodded at him before returning her eyes to the readouts of the control panel in front of her. "What brings you down to Engineering? If you need some work, I could use an extra pair of hands here." She moved over to an opening in a console and brought her hydrospanner and aimed it at a junction.

Tom moved up to kneel beside her. "I just wanted to see you and to see how you and our baby were doing." Tom’s voice was as gentle as she’d ever heard it, which caused her to glance over at him in surprise.

"I see." She paused and turned her attention back to the panel. "We’ll I’m pretty busy right now, but the baby and I are fine, Tom." She tried to keep her voice brisk. It was easier to keep going if she stayed angry, and Tom threatened to break through that wall she’d thrown up.

"B’Ellana!" Tom sounded like he was getting angry himself; "I just wanted to say goodbye and spend time with my wife and baby while there was still time. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your work!" Tom started to rise.

"Tom, I’m trying to get these engines online. You know I’m not giving up yet!" She didn’t look away from the delicate work she was doing, but her hands were shaking. Damn him for coming!

"Well Lieutenant Torres, it’s been nice knowing you, love you too." Tom rose fully to his feet and stood looking down at his wife, not trying to hide his anger. "Take care B’Ellana, I’ll leave you with your engines." Tom tried to sound flippant but she knew it only hid the hurt.

He could always sting her into action, "What do you really want Tom? I’m working everyone into the ground here. I can’t do any less than them, even if we fail, we have to try. Of course I’d rather be with you, but I won’t give up! I can’t." B’Ellana’s voice stopped him cold. He hadn’t heard this kind of pain in her voice since they’d had their problems with her adjustment to the baby’s Klingon heritage. Her voice had risen in volume and she punctuated her last statement by smashing her fists into the wall.

Tom winced as he heard a panel crack and he knelt down and reached out to her.

She tried to brush his hands away but he gathered her in close.

He spoke when he felt her muscles relax against him. "B’Ellana it’ll be okay." His hand reached up to smooth her hair as he held her.

"Tom, our baby won’t even get a chance to live. I don’t know how I can stand that. It took me so much time to adjust to the idea of her, and now I might not even get to meet her." Her voice was breaking at the end.

He held her slightly away from him so he could look into her eyes. "B’Ellana, if there’s a way out of here, you’ll find it. But until you accomplish your latest miracle, why don’t I lend you a hand down here? Maybe we can finally come up with a name for our daughter." Tom had to swallow hard himself at the end.

She buried her face in his neck as her arms slowly reached out to grip Tom in a tight embrace. "I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing helmboy."

Kathryn was standing inside someone’s home. She could hear music being played on some kind of stringed instrument. She turned to Q with a confused look, but he just pointed off to the right with an expectant look.

The house was beautiful. Serene was the best way to describe it. Simplicity and elegance combined to quiet even her internal restlessness. She went through doors that opened onto an inner courtyard. There was a water pond, shade trees, and a profusion of flowering azaleas. Seated beside the pool was a diminutive Asian woman who was the source of the music. She sat by the water’s edge, seemingly absorbed in the harp in her lap.

She stopped her music suddenly and lifted her head in the resulting silence. Expectation and hope warred on her face, but dissolved into tears as a man appeared in a doorway opposite Kathryn. The man came and sat down beside her. He quietly took her hand and allowed her to cry.

She finally calmed enough to say, "I cannot help but hope that any day now, he will come bounding in that door. I can hear his voice, fired with enthusiasm, telling us of his adventures. I still dream of him playing his clarinet in a duet with me." Her head bowed again.

The man patted her hand gently, "My dear..."

She just shook her head. "I know. Our Harry is never coming home. My head knows this, but my heart still refuses to accept it." The tears continued to fall silently down her cheeks.

Though his voice quavered with his own anguish, Harry’s father said gently, "No. He is gone. We must accept this." His face was filled with resignation and grief.

Kathryn’s throat closed on her own pain. She spun to face Q. "Surely, they rescued..."

"Kathy, Tuvok judged the needs of the many to be greater than the needs of one Ensign. Imminently logical, except that it was a death sentence for little Harry Kim, oh and for B’Ellana Torres as well." Q’s voice was spiteful, "I could take you to see each of her grieving parents as well, but seen it once, seen it a thousand times. Isn’t that right, Kath?" His laugh made her swing her fist at his insufferable face.

Q caught her hand easily, "Temper, temper, Kathy." His voice held mock reproof. "We still have a few friends to see!"

There was a flash of light.

** **

"Harry." The voice was weak, but unmistakably Chakotay’s.

The Doctor turned from where he was arguing with Mr. Kim about his decision to release himself. He pulled out a medical tricorder and ran it over Chakotay. His face was in its accustomed scowl as he studied the readings. "Hmm." The Doctor’s brightened to his usual laconic complacence. "It would appear you are going to remain with us a while longer Commander. Next time, I would suggest you duck."

Chakotay’s smile was a ghost of its usual self as he whispered; "I’ll remember that Doc."

Harry who had been slowly and painfully getting out of the bed, straightened and addressed Chakotay, "I’m here Commander, do you need anything sir?"

The Doctor frowned with renewed vigor as he turned back and said, "Ensign Kim, you are still in no shape to ‘do’ anything except to lie back down and recuperate." He hustled forward to place a steadying hand on Harry’s shoulder.

"Harry, Seven said..." Chakotay’s voice was weak. His forehead tattoo furrowed with distress as he struggled to talk.

"Commander, you heard what Seven had to say?" Harry said, trying to spare Chakotay the effort it was costing him.

"Part of it. How long?" he gasped out.

"She said around six hours, sir."

"The Captain?" Chakotay obviously wanted to know if she was all right.

This was a question Harry couldn’t answer. He looked in obvious confusion at the Doctor.

"Captain Janeway was not injured, Commander." The Doctor said as he returned to Chakotay and picked up a hypospray. He made some adjustments to it and continued, "In fact Commander, you saved her life when you made it possible for her to be in Astrometrics. She would have been killed instantly if she’d been seated beside you in her command chair."

"Talk to her." Chakotay said in a rasping voice. His pallor was becoming more pronounced.

"Commander, you are in no shape to talk to anyone. You are recovering from a massive trauma." The Doctor was trying to be brisk, but it was apparent to both Chakotay and Harry that he was hiding something.

"I must speak to her." Chakotay’s face shone with perspiration from the effort he was making.

The Doctor injected him with the hypospray. "Chakotay, I didn’t want to tell you, but the Captain has been missing from the ship since 1300 hours." Chakotay struggled to rise. "I’ve given you something to calm you Commander. You must rest now. Tuvok is temporarily in command and is coordinating our efforts."

"She’s gone! Kathryn!" His struggles increased until the Doctor gave him a second dose of the hypospray. Chakotay’s eyes rolled back in his head and he suddenly went limp as the sedative took effect.

The Doctor scanned him as he grumbled about hardheaded officers who didn’t know what was good for them. He turned as Harry addressed him.

"Doc, what do you mean the Captain.... I’ve got to go!" Harry took two steps towards the sickbay doors before the Doctor caught up with him and applied the hypo to his neck. The Doctor caught Harry’s limp form and dragged him back to the biobed.

"Just rest ensign." The Doctor’s face was bleak as he lay Harry gently down.

Kathryn and Q were standing on a tropical planet surface. If it wasn’t for the incredible humidity, she might be able to admire the incredible variety of plant life around her. She plucked her uniform away from her suddenly sticky skin before she shot an irritated look at Q. "Well Q, what are we doing here? I know I’ve never been here before, I would’ve remembered this climate." Kathryn preferred humidity to be confined to a hot bath, but this place was like a sauna.

Q smiled and raised a hand. He was suddenly holding a drink with an umbrella in it and wearing light tropical clothing. When Kathryn looked down, she found she was wearing a string bikini top and a grass skirt. "Q!" she growled.

"I thought you would prefer to be dressed a bit more appropriately Kathy. I must say, this is so much more becoming than that frumpy uniform. If you flashed more of that glistening skin, Chuckles would be putty in your hand!" His look was lascivious as his eyes scanned her figure.

"Dammit Q!" Her color was as high as her temper.

"Kathy, lets not get sidetracked, no matter how pleasant these little interludes are. You may have never been here before, but someone you know is visiting right now." Q waited expectantly.

Suddenly screams shredded the silence. Her stomach dropped even as her adrenaline surged. Years of Starfleet training and command experience kicked in and Kathryn took off at a run in their direction. Q watched her go with a knowing smile.

Kathryn ran tripping over vines and being lashed in the face with branches. Suddenly she was stumbling into a clearing. There was a settlement before her, seething like a kicked anthill with terrified humanoids. She had never seen this species before. They were as beautiful as the flowers around her. The aliens had opalescent skin covered in fine scales, gill slits at their jawline, webbed hands, and long trailing hair that ranged in the colors of the ocean, jade green to cerulean blue. Their eyes were silvery and their voices would have been musical, except they were raised in terror.

"We are the Borg." Said a disembodied voice.

Kathryn groaned as she heard it.

"We will add your technological and biological distinctiveness to our own." The voice continued relentlessly.

She didn’t know if she could bear to witness what she knew was coming.

"You will service us. Resistance is futile." Those words were accompanied by the appearance of Borg drones at the perimeter of the clearing.

Kathryn stopped involuntarily in the center of the clearing as she saw the drones. Even after all of her experience with them, with all of the new insights, the Borg still had the power to freeze her heart. Standing her ground, by sheer will she didn’t yield to her impulse to flee and save herself. It was a hell of an effort though.

The aliens were running in disarray all around her, but Kathryn knew the end of this tale. It would end in tragedy. She saw a male struggling with a drone that was about to assimilate his mate, but he fell before the cyborg as his mate watched in terror.

Kathryn watched the assimilation that continued inexorably. She gasped as a young child, a female by her clothing, tripped and fell practically at her feet. She reached out even though she knew she couldn’t help, but other hands raised the girl to her feet. Kathryn cried out as the drone straightened with its small burden grasped by one hand. The drone turned and a groan was torn from Kathryn’s gut. It was unmistakably Seven of Nine. From Seven’s wrist, two small probes shot out to embed themselves in the tiny alien’s neck.

"Resistance is futile," Seven said in a cold, callous, totally inhumane voice.

"Oh, Seven." Said Kathryn with a heart full of pity for Seven’s own assimilation, and the horror she was perpetrating.

"Kathy, why the sorrow?" Q’s voice was amused. "She’s not much more animated now, is she?"

Kathryn didn’t want to turn and let him see the tears in her eyes. Instead she watched Seven lead off the new child drone. "Q, Seven’s shown more humanity in her short time with us than you’ll ever have the capacity for yourself." Her voice rang with her conviction. Turning to face him at last, she continued, "Seven didn’t deserve what happened to her as a child, but I’m going to make sure she gets every chance to make her own decisions in her future."

Q displayed mock horror and indignation at her reply, but his face settled into its usual saturnine look. "What ardor. What staunch confidence in you own standards of right and wrong. You know Kathy, the only time I seem to get any excitement out of you is when it concerns your crew. Too bad, passion suits you." Q gave a melodramatic sigh and a mocking grin as he watched her face tighten. "Well Kathy, your crew has quite a future without you. At least Tuvok is back with his family, and Seven with hers."

Kathryn glared at him and took a step towards him. Her teeth were gritted as she came to stand toe to toe with him.

Q just looked satisfied at her ire. He then added, "There is one in particular I thought you’d be interested in, or have you forgotten about your tattooed sidekick?" Q gave her a knowing look.

"Just get on with it Q. If I know you—and believe me, you are transparent—you’ve saved the worst for last." Kathryn gave him a grim smile. "I’ve had as much as anyone could bear of you. The sooner this is over, the better Q."

Q just gave her a self-satisfied smile and said, "Well I’ve heard that resistance is futile so…" and snapped his fingers.

There was a flash of light.

** **

Seven entered the Doctor’s office quietly. She watched him working at his desk monitor for a moment before saying, "Doctor, are you occupied with anything of importance right now?"

He turned with a smile and rose as he said, "Seven, please come in. I always have time for you, and as you saw, I’ve sedated both Mr. Kim and Chakotay. You wouldn’t believe how difficult they were being."

Seven gave him a slight smile. "I can imagine." She paused before saying, "Doctor, you have spent more time than was necessary trying to aid me in my adjustments to life on Voyager."

The Doctor frowned and looked away. "Well Seven I don’t think I did more than necessary, and you have always made life interesting." His eyes avoided hers.

Seven persevered. "Doctor, my life here would have been much more difficult without your tutelage. I consider you to be my friend and I value our relationship. If we do not find a way to free the ship from the gravity well, I needed to tell you how important you are in my life." Seven had walked over to the Doctor while she was talking.

He looked at her. "You’ve caught me by surprise Seven, but I value my relationship with you as well." The Doctor cleared his throat nervously.

Seven looked into his face for a second before leaning forward to kiss him.

Stepping back, she studied his confused face before turning and leaving without another word.

The Doctor sat down in his chair abruptly and stared at the door for a long time.

Kathryn looked around her. If the last planet had been a tropical paradise, then this planet was definitely hell.

Cardassian’s, all heavily armed and carrying shockprods—which they were using liberally—were strolling around harassing the captives. This was unmistakably a penal colony, and not like the camp in New Zealand that Tom had been sentenced to. These inmates wore tattered clothes and despair. All of the prisoners bore the signs of abuse—blackened eyes, split lips, bruises, and dried blood on their clothes.

One captive caught her eye immediately. She would recognize him instantly, regardless of his appearance. The years of serving together insured that, plus the fact that she watched him more than protocol allowed. It was the proud set of his shoulders, or maybe it was just the amount of abuse he was receiving that drew her eyes. Whatever it was, she watched spellbound.

A particularly vicious looking Cardassian soldier was shouting in his face, calling him foul names and berating him. He was also hitting him repeatedly with an inactivated shockprod.

"You pitiful excuse for a human." He paused to spit in Chakotay’s face. "Your race is worm meat, but you—you couldn’t even avenge your family. When you break—and I will be the one to break you—you’ll be begging me for mercy, just as they did..." his voice broke off suddenly as Chakotay struck him in the throat with an elbow and grappled for control of the shockprod.

Chakotay had caught the guard by surprise with his sudden eruption; he managed to activate the prod and he forced it slowly up to the guards’ face. "Gul G’etak, I’ll show you the same mercy you’ve shown to my crew." He smiled with grim relish as he suddenly connected the prod with the Gul’s face. G’etak spasmed and fell at Chakotay’s feet. He wiped his face and gazed at his enemy, but Chakotay didn’t have more than a moment to savor his victory. Other guards converged on him with brutal efficiency.

Kathryn groaned as Chakotay fell. He seemed insensible to the kicks and jolts of the prods he was receiving. His eyes remained locked on G’Etak’s still form and his smile remained.

Q leaned in close to Kathryn’s ear to whisper, "Poor Chuckles. Such abuse. Though he does seem very satisfied with his fate. Perhaps this is where he belongs after all. His hate has consumed him...it’s all he has left now." Q paused thoughtfully for a moment before adding, "It’s ironic isn’t it. Tommy boy gets out of prison even as Chuck dons his jailbird fashions."

Kathryn whirled to face Q. "Were all of the Maquis imprisoned, or just Chakotay?"

"Well, your good friend Tuvok, being a good Starfleet officer," his voice mocked the title, "turned the Maquis over to authorities upon his return to the Alpha quadrant. Except for your Klingon engineer, B’Ellana, who perhaps got off lightly, dying of the Caretaker’s infection." Q’s face showed counterfeit sympathy.

Kathryn glared at him impotently for a moment until he continued.

"Well then, since you asked." He sniffed pretentiously, "Starfleet extradited the Maquis to seal their precious treaty with Cardassia. The Maquis who survived the interrogation were sentenced to Lazon II. A charming penal institution, wouldn’t you say? Pointless, backbreaking labor, brutal conditions, and they are only released by death. Fortunately for them, that doesn’t take long here. The guards do take their jobs very seriously, especially with such special guests as the Maquis."

Q looked away from Kathryn as the guards abandoned Chakotay’s bleeding and battered body. Kathryn had been trying vainly to try to ignore the sounds of the beating, so the cessation made her freeze. She wasn’t sure she could witness this. She slowly turned and felt her eyes swim with tears as she saw his condition.

"Isn’t someone going to help him?" Kathryn hated her helplessness, especially faced with this particular man’s pain. She was coming to realize how empty her life would be without him in it. The fear and the anguish threatened her for a moment. She had hidden herself from this possibility since she’d lost Justin and Daddy. This was why she’d pushed Chakotay away so many times, not because of some damned protocol. She knew every day in the Delta Quadrant was a gamble. She couldn’t have continued to function if she let herself love him, and then lost him.

Q’s voice drew her back from this agonizing discovery. "There’s hardly any of his people left Kathy, and they won’t help him. Chuck made that an order to them when he realized he would be singled out for ‘special attention.’ He always displays such noble intentions." Q gave her a derisive smirk. "The guards are not going to let him go on defying them. He is going to be an example of what happens to people when they defy their authority." He paused while Kathryn’s eyes lingered on Chakotay’s face.

"Kathy, I think that it’s time we left now. Chakotay doesn’t have much time left, and I wouldn’t want you to watch him die... so painfully." Q gauged her reaction before adding spitefully, "So very alone." He took her hand.

Kathryn shuddered. She shook Q’s hand away and ran to kneel beside Chakotay. She missed Q’s knowing smile. She was concentrating solely on Chakotay now.

She heard the harshness of his breathing. His limbs were all broken and probably a few ribs. "Oh God Chakotay, this can’t be happening. I can’t lose you!" Kathryn moaned with Chakotay. She was rocking back and forth murmuring "No" repeatedly as she looked at him. She ached to touch him, to comfort him somehow. Tears were running down her cheeks. She froze when a single tear landed on his cheek. Her eyes flew to Q’s face. Q gave her a devilish look and raised his hands as if to say, ‘beats me!’

Kathryn didn’t care; she turned back to him. She reached out gentle fingers to stroke Chakotay’s cheek. His eyelids fluttered for a second before he focused vaguely on her.

"What? Who are you?" His broken voice was weak.

Kathryn bent closer to him, "Shhh. Don’t try to talk now Chakotay. I’m here to help you."

Chakotay coughed and a thin stream of blood flowed from a corner of his mouth. Kathryn didn’t think she could endure any more pain herself. She was watching him die.

She swallowed hard on her fear and said as lightly as she could manage, "You looked like you could use the company." She smiled and touched his face again. He groaned and she caught her breath. To not be able to touch him without causing him pain was torture right now.

She lay down on the ground beside him so she was face to face with him. He tried to focus on her again. His smile was a ghost of itself. He said, "Come here often?"

Kathryn gave him a lopsided smile. "First visit. What’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?"

Chakotay’s dimples appeared briefly before another cough caught him.

Kathryn reached up to trace his tattoo, when he had quieted again. "Chakotay."

He opened his eyes again and said, "You know me."

She smiled and said she did.

"I feel that I should know you..." his voice was weaker.

Kathryn smiled and leaned in closer to lay a hand on his cheek. "We’ve always been together. We’ve shared adventures, and faced our own demons together. It’s where we belong. Friends and more."

His breathing was getting more ragged.

Kathryn’s tears bathed his face as she leaned in and kissed him softly. "Rest my friend. The angry warrior’s battle is done. It is time to return to your family." Her throat closed and she couldn’t continue. She touched her forehead to his and lay with her eyes closed until she felt him take his last breath. She was still then herself.

After a time, she sat up and reached out to smooth Chakotay’s hair away from his face. She wiped away her tears and studied him silently before she rose to face Q.

"Enough Q." Her voice was adamant.

Q smiled and the surroundings faded.

There was a flash of light.

** **

Chakotay was conscious again, but he felt weak. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear Neelix was sitting on his chest. The Doctor pressed a hypospray to his neck and suddenly he could breath freely. "Thanks, Doc." He said softly.

"Try not to overexert yourself Commander. It could cause a relapse." The Doctor gave him a strained smile and left him as B’Ellana approached.

"Chakotay, I wanted you to know that the warp engines are back online. We beat the deadline, but the gravity well’s strength has grown. My teams gave everything they could to get it finished, but it’s too late. We don’t have the ability to escape." B’Ellana’s voice lost its brisk tone as she struggled to add, "I’m sorry I let everyone down."

Chakotay’s hand reached out for hers. She grasped his hand hard.

"You did everything you could, and more if I know you." He said in a quiet voice.

She smiled grateful for his acceptance of her efforts, and for the forgiveness of the failure.

"Don’t worry, B’Ellana. We still have time." Chakotay shook her hand gently. "Besides, we’ve got a baby to welcome into our family. Have you and Tom decided on a name?"

B’Ellana smiled and looked over to where Tom stood talking to Harry.

Kathryn and Q were again standing in the bright indistinct area where they had started this adventure.

Q turned to her and said, "You know I brought Jean-Luc here when he had to face a life and death decision. His life and his death." He looked at her; "Maybe you will surprise me as well."

Kathryn recognized Captain Picard’s name, but made no comment. She waited.

"Jean-Luc had to decide if he was going to play it safe and second guess his life, or if he was going to take his chance to cheat death one more time." Q raised his eyebrow sardonically, "He chose well."

Now Kathryn’s eyebrows rose. For Q, this was high praise indeed, but enough of this nonsense. "I don’t give a damn about Picard or what choices he’s made right now. I’ve had enough of you and your manipulation Q. Return me to my ship. Now!" She was practically tapping her foot with impatience and her tone brooked no refusal.

Q asked with a cat and mouse look, "Is that what you want Kathy? You’ll be going back to a doomed ship. The deadline is passed and the ship is plummeting towards its destruction."

Kathryn remained steely eyed.

Q continued inexorably, "Your father will be dead. Tuvok will not be able to return to his family. Your crew won’t ever have the chance to make it home."

She crossed her arms across her chest, even though she had to banish her renewed grief at the thought of her father. She was resolved on this. "Q, my father’s been gone a long time now, and I’ll find a way to get Tuvok and the rest of my crew home. My ship isn’t gone yet, and there’s still time to find an escape. I won’t give up while I have a breath in my body. That is my decision Q!" She met his eyes defiantly.

Q gave a smile of pure pleasure. He took her hands and gathered her close. His face was almost charming as he said enigmatically, "There’s always time Kathy."

There was a flash of light.

** **

Most of the senior staff was in sickbay as Tuvok and Seven made a final report to Chakotay.

"Although the warp engines are online, at their current efficiency, we are not able to break away from the singularities influence. We have approximately one hour until we reach the conjunction." Tuvok’s voice was even.

Chakotay was able to sit up now, but he was still pale. "There’s been no further information about the Captain’s disappearance?" He didn’t disguise his distress.

Tuvok straightened and replied, "Captain Janeway’s abrupt disappearance is still unexplained. She has not been returned to the ship and we can find no clues as to the method of her removal." He looked a slight bit annoyed at the lack of progress.

Chakotay nodded thoughtfully, and was about to ask for recommendations when there was a bright flash of light.

Suddenly Kathryn was seated in his lap on the biobed, facing Tuvok. Everyone cried out loudly in excitement and took a step towards her, except for Tuvok. He merely raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Chakotay had to restrain an urge to hug her close as he thanked the spirits for her return.

Kathryn didn’t show any embarrassment at her seating arrangement. She looked at Chakotay’s face so close to hers. She calmly slid off his lap and straightened her uniform. She looked at Chakotay, smiling broadly, then she took charge. She held up one hand to forestall their queries. "Report," she said.

Tuvok dutifully repeated what he’d told Chakotay.

Kathryn frowned as she listened to him; she then turned to Chakotay and laid a hand on his shoulder. "It’s good to see you looking better Chakotay. Q stopped by and decided to take me out for a tour. But that doesn’t matter at the moment." She hesitated as she scanned each of her friend’s faces. She stopped when she reached Seven as some idea tugged at her thoughts.

Time.

She must have said the words aloud from the bewildered looks on the faces of her staff.

"Time," she repeated. "When Q was just about to return me to Voyager, he said ‘There’s always time.’ He emphasized the word time."

B’Ellana and Seven looked at her with some consideration before looking at each other.

Kathryn said, "Seven, the Borg chroniton fields. We can adapt Chakotay’s experience with the fracturing of Voyager into separate times, to our benefit now. We can modify the gel packs throughout the ship and use the deflector dish to generate the field."

Seven nodded and B’Ellana grinned.

"Captain," Tuvok’s voice broke in censoriously.

She turned to face him. "Tuvok, you don’t have to remind me of Starfleet’s Temporal Prime Directive. I’ll accept Starfleet’s verdict on my actions—when we get this crew home." Her voice was firm, but she softened her gaze as she added, "Blind adherence to the rules would have killed us all before this, my friend. I’m not going to sacrifice my crew or my ship. Sometimes the rules need to be reevaluated."

Tuvok’s back straightened and he gave a curt nod at the subtle reproof in her voice.

"Well B’Ellana can we make the modifications in the time we have left?" Kathryn said briskly turning back to her Chief Engineer.

B’Ellana nodded, "With Seven and Harry’s assistance, my teams can make the modifications in the time left."

Seven added, "Captain, we will not be able to generate a field for more than a few seconds before the dish fails."

Kathryn nodded and said, "It will buy us the time we need Seven to break free. I’m putting my trust in all of you, and I’m asking you to trust me in return." She looked at all of their faces, lingering on some. She saw their confidence and their hope.

She continued, "Tuvok, inform the crew of our plan and secure all duty stations. I’ll make a note in my log that I take full responsibility for this decision and any repercussions it may have." At his nod she turned to Tom Paris. "Tom, I’ll want you at conn. You need to check and make sure all systems are ready." She gave him a smile. "I can’t think of anyone else who I’d trust to fly our ship out of this mess."

Tom’s face showed his pride and his embarrassment. "Yes ma’am!"

"Let’s get on it people. Dismissed." Kathryn watched most of the senior staff leave with renewed vigor.

She turned to the Doctor, "Please be prepared for casualties, Doctor. It may be a bumpy ride."

He gave a brisk nod, "It always is, Captain." He turned and went back to his office.

Chakotay watched her in action. "You always have that affect on them" Chakotay’s voice was gentle. "They were sure they were out of options, and suddenly you give them a path to hope. Even if we fail, they’ll face it with courage and a belief that they gave it their all." His eyes were soft and full of his own feelings for her.

Kathryn looked at Chakotay for a moment, seeing an echo of that other world Chakotay. She swallowed hard and took hold of herself. "Chakotay, I don’t know what I’d have done if you’d been killed because of my decision to come here."

Chakotay interrupted with, "Kathryn no one blames you. There was no way of knowing!"

She shook her head and reached out and took his hand, "Thank you for not blaming me." She took a deep breath and said, "It’s good to be home. Chakotay, I missed everyone...especially you."

At his look of surprise and quickly controlled hope, she added, "When your back on your feet Chakotay, I have some things to talk about with you. Today has been quite a day."

He nodded and gripped her hand tighter. "It’ll wait until then."

She smiled at his readiness to always put aside his feelings at her request. He was always giving, and she was always taking. She was determined that that habit would change...starting now.

Kathryn reached up her free hand to caress his cheek. "Get some rest Chakotay, I’ll be back when we’re free." She met his eyes and smiled at the question they held. She thought the best answer was to simply... she leaned over and kissed him.

When she straightened, his eyes were shiny and he swallowed hard. He gripped her hands as if he’d never let go.

"We’ll do this Chakotay." Her voice was fierce with her belief. She wondered if he caught the double meaning of that statement.

His smile was radiant. "I’ve never had any doubt." His look held a promise of their future.

Her smile was just as filled with happiness. She’d never felt more unfettered, but now she had work to do.

He watched her stride purposefully out of the room and marveled at her indomitable spirit and her power to constantly surprise him.

"Captain, Lieutenant Torres indicates that all adjustments are completed and systems are ready."

Kathryn looked up to meet Tuvok’s eyes. "Let’s do it. Tuvok red alert. Tom lay in a course back to our original destination. It’s time for a change of scenery."

She turned to look at Harry Kim, "Mr. Kim, charge the deflector dish. Mr. Paris, on my mark, initiates the field and get us out of here." She waited for their acknowledgment and met their smiles with a confident one of her own.

She sat down in her command chair to wait. "Now Tom."

Tom said, "Deflector is charged. I’m initiating the field...now."

The bridge and the whole ship seemed to stretch and grow darker...then suddenly there was a wrench and the viewscreen showed the usual stars streaking by.

Kathryn called, "Tom, take us to the M class planet at warp two, and put us in orbit. Tuvok, stand down red alert and send out repair crews to finish their work." She stood and walked over to pat her navigator on his shoulder. "Good job everyone. That one was a little too close."

Tom smiled up at her, "Nah! You should have seen the time Captain Proton almost got..."

Kathryn shook her head and smiled again, "Save it for the holodeck Mr. Paris." She started for the turbolift. "Tuvok you have the bridge. Harry, I want you to go get some rest, you look like you could use it. Inform B’Ellana that I’m putting her on leave for a few days to recuperate fully, and give her my thanks." She met their curious looks and gave a devilish grin. "I’ve got a date."

The looks ranged from Tom’s surprise, Harry’s stunned disbelief, to acceptance from Tuvok. She grinned as the doors closed.

** **

Several days later, Chakotay was standing outside of Kathryn’s quarters.

When the door opened on the dark room, he heard soft music, and he saw Kathryn standing there in his favorite blue dress holding a bottle of wine with two glasses. "Chakotay! Right on time as usual. Come on in." She handed him the bottle of wine. "You can open this while I finish a few things."

Chakotay opened the bottle, watching her light candles around the room. He then poured two glasses and handed her one as she came back to his side.

Kathryn smiled and took a sip. She inclined her head to indicate they should sit down on the couch under the viewport.

Chakotay sat sideways on the couch so he could face her. He noticed how the stars made her skin glow like a pearl and the shadow between her breasts seem inviting. "You look lovely tonight."

She smiled, "So do you. I always love to see you in earth tones." She reached out to touch the collar of his silk shirt, and let her hand linger there for a moment before falling to her side self-consciously.

Chakotay sat quite still for a moment before taking a sip of wine. "You haven’t talked about your adventure with Q. What didn’t you put in the report?" Chakotay met her eyes directly. "I could tell that you were holding something back Kathryn."

Kathryn dropped her eyes and said hesitantly, "It’s one of the reasons I asked you here tonight. When I was there with you in the Cardassian prison camp, I didn’t put all of what happened there into the report. I couldn’t."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows but waited for her to continue.

"I had to watch you. To watch what they were doing to you and I couldn’t help you. Then Q allowed me to touch you…to talk to you. It made me realize so many things." Kathryn took a deep breath to find enough control to continue. The vision of Chakotay being beaten was still too fresh in her mind. "I have hidden from myself for so long that it took Q’s manipulations to force me to face my fears." more afraid of wasting another day that I could spend with him." She faced Chakotay with vulnerability and courage.

Chakotay took her wineglass from her hand and held both of her hands tightly. "Kathryn are you saying…"

She met his eyes, "We’re here to celebrate Chakotay."

Chakotay’s voice was soft, "What is it Kathryn."

Kathryn’s voice was a whisper, "I’m afraid of losing another person I love." Even saying these words aloud made her throat close in fear. She swallowed hard and forced herself to continue. "But I’m

He said cautiously, "What are we celebrating Kathryn? Our escape or..." He left it unfinished.

She moved closer, still holding his hands. She stared at them as if mesmerized. "Chakotay, tonight isn’t about the ship...it’s only about us." She looked up at her last words to gauge his reaction. "If it’s not too late, for us."

Chakotay caught his breath before saying, "It would never be too late for us Kathryn. I have never stopped loving you, not for a moment. Though I did try to forget when the loneliness became too great, but I found that there is no substitute for you." He pulled her closer until she was lying across his lap, wrapped up in his arms. His lips hovered above hers. "I love you."

The kiss was tender and tentative at first but Chakotay had never lacked for courage. This moment had been a long time coming. He gathered her into a passionate embrace. Kathryn was so small resting there, but the fit was perfect.

Kathryn felt as if she had found the one place in the universe that she was meant to be. All of the love affairs before paled in comparison to the fullness of her feelings for this man. Just being this close to him was affecting her more than any other man’s lovemaking had ever done.

She pulled back from the kiss to whisper; "I love you Chakotay." Her hand caressed his cheek and traced the tattoo at his brow. "Thank you for waiting." She kissed him with all of the love inside her.

Chakotay returned her kisses with his own passion and ardor. He knew her heart was open to him now, and his own felt at peace. "Kathryn you were always worth the wait." His arms promised that he would never let go.