DISCLAIMER: All of the charactes, their toys, the ship, new earth and maybe even the universe belong to Paramount.  I own only the words on this page and some of them were borrowed.  No infringement intended

First place in purple comet


 A Resolutions story

RATED NC17

First in Batleth New Earth
 

NOTE: This story inspired by the Angry warrior speech and kiss as purported to be in the original script of Resolutions.

They named it New Earth, this lovely but isolated planet they now called home.  It was a beautiful planet, with a mild climate, clear blue skies and an abundance of vegetation, but it wasn’t earth.  After failing to find a cure for the illness they had contracted while on an away mission, Captain Kathryn Janeway and Commander Chakotay, formerly of the Federation Starship Voyager, had been forced to remain behind on this otherwise uninhabited planet.  Slowly, they made the transition from Captain and Commander to Kathryn and Chakotay. A Starfleet issue shelter, sonic showers and replicators made this new life easier, but still the change was startling.

The transition went smoother for Chakotay, having deeper ties to nature and less need for the technology and conveniences of the modern twenty-fourth century, but it was difficult just the same.  Kathryn, on the other hand, came here equipped, ready to research and determined to find a cure for their illness.  A class nine shuttle stood ready to carry them away, should such a cure be found.  A severe plasma storm, weeks after their arrival, destroyed most of Kathryn’s research and equipment, effectively ending her hopes of returning to space.

The storm had been like nothing they had ever witnessed before, coming with virtually no warning, except for the antics of the monkey, and with a devastating power that overwhelmed both of them.  There was no time to protect the equipment, just barely enough time to reach the shelter and attempt to preserve themselves.  They weathered the storm locked in a desperate embrace beneath the table in their shelter and when it finally passed, they considered themselves lucky to have escaped with their lives.  It was then, after the storm and the loss of all her equipment, that Kathryn came to realize that this was home now.  This was forever and most likely they would spend the rest of their lives here— alone-together.

They spent the day, after the storm, clearing debris and repairing the damage caused by the great force of the storm; a kind of physical labor neither was accustomed to.  It was a long hard day which ended, as had become their custom, with a quiet evening, each working on there own project.  Kathryn dressed in her night clothes, worked at her computer, she was stiff and sore from the day’s unusually physical work.

“I guess I’m not used to hard physical labor.  My knots are getting knots.”  She laughed as she reached her hand up to knead the muscles in her shoulder.

“Here, let me help.”  Chakotay came around the table. Carefully moving her hair out of the way he began to massage her neck and shoulders.

“Mmmm…. That’s wonderful.”  Kathryn closed her eyes as he worked her tight muscles.

“I’ve had a lot of practice at this.”  My mother used to get sore necks all the time. I was the only one she’d trust not to make it worse.”

“You know just where it aches…”  She was enjoying the sensations his hands working the taunt muscles produced.

“Yes… I  do.”

Startled by the emotion in his response, Kathryn opened her eyes and rose from the chair.

“That’s much better.  Thank you.”  She turned to face him, momentarily locking eyes with him.  “Well, I’m going to bed.  See you in the morning.”

“Sleep well, Kathryn.”  He watched her cross the room.

“Yes… you too..”  She managed just before she disappeared behind the partition that separated her sleeping alcove.

Kathryn retreated to her bed, but wound up staring at the ceiling.  The realization that they would spend the rest of their lives here weighed heavily on her mind.  Forever--- it was a difficult concept to accept.   She tossed and turned, still trying to deny what she had denied for so long.  Her eyes finally shifted to rest on the partition.

Chakotay returned to the table and picked up the padd he had been working on, staring at it absently.  His mind on Kathryn and no longer able to focus on the words on the padd, he glanced toward the alcove then tried to return to his work.  He wasn’t sure how long it had been, it really didn’t matter, he finally turned his attention back to his work.

“We have to talk.”  She came and sat across from him at the table.

“All right…”  He was cautious—unsure of what she would say.

“We know we’re going to be here the rest of our lives.  The question is …..”  She watched him carefully.  “What is our relationship going to be, exactly?  I think we need to define some parameters.”  She had approached this in her usual manner, rational and scientific—wanting clarity and precision.

“I don’t think I can tell you, exactly."  He regarded her with an expression of  bemused fondness.  “And I’m not sure I can define parameters.”  He took a deep breath.  “But I can tell you a story…. An ancient legend among my people.”  She watched him silently.  “It’s about an angry warrior…who lived his life in conflict with the rest of the tribe…a man who couldn’t find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide.  For years, he struggled with the demons inside him, but the only satisfaction he ever knew came when he was in battle.  This made him a hero in his tribe, but the warrior still longed for inner peace.”  He got up and began to pace as he spoke.  “One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe, led by a warrior princess.  She called on him to join them, for her tribe was too small and weak to defend themselves from all their attackers.”  She continued to watch him as he paced.  “The Warrior princess was brave, and beautiful and very wise.  The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter.  From that point on, her needs would come first.-----and in that way, the warrior began to know peace.” Chakotay stopped pacing and turned to look directly at Kathryn.  “He didn’t realize for a long time that what he was feeling was love, because he had never known love before.”  He watched her reaction in silence.

“Is that really… an ancient legend?”

“No.  But it made it easier to tell you.”

Kathryn stood and moved to stand in front of him, looking up, studying the emotions shining through his eyes.  She lifted her mouth to his, reaching her hands behind his head, to bring him to her.  Lightly brushing his lips she pulled back and looked at him before capturing his mouth with a more demanding kiss.  His arms closed around her slight frame drawing her close, surrounding her with his love.  He broke the kiss and she dropped her head to his chest, resting against his beating heart.

“It was a beautiful story.”  Her voice was soft and he could feel her breath through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“It was the truth, Kathryn.”  He ran his hands down her back, placing light kisses on her hair.  “I love you. I have since the day I first pledged to stay by your side.”

“I’m afraid you warrior princess is a coward.”

“You’re the most courageous person I know.”

“No, I’ve been hiding—hiding from you, hiding from my own feelings.”  She raised her head to see his face.  “I was afraid –afraid I would be consumed by it—afraid I couldn’t be the captain I needed to be, if I let myself love you.”

“You don’t have to be the captain any longer.”

“No, I don’t.”  Eyes brimming with tears she smiled a lopsided smile.

“I love you.”

Chakotay bent kissing her gently, she responded parting his lips with hers, tongue tangling with his.  She pressed close to him, feeling him stiffen against her belly.  Large hands ran down her back, cupping her bottom gently squeezing, holding her tightly to him.  She worked her hand under his shirt, pushing it away exposing his chest, allowing her to taste him.  She spread wet open kisses across his chest, nipping, licking feeling the muscles ripple beneath his skin.  Her fingers reached the fasteners on his pants and stepped back from her, catching her hands.

“Kathryn, we don’t have to rush this.”  His voice husky and breathless, he watched her face reflect back his own desire.

“Chakotay.”  She took his hand.  “Make love with me.”  She held his eyes for a minute, then led him past the partition.

Kathryn dropped her bathrobe to the floor, stepped in and moved his shirt off his shoulders.  Running her hand over his flesh, she leaned in to him, her warm breath causing him to shiver.  Her teeth grazed his nipples, her tongue lapping at his skin as she unfastened his trousers sliding them over his hips.  Her hands skimmed over his hips and down his thighs as she freed him from the confines of his clothing.

“You are beautiful.”  She whispered, appraising him from her kneeling position.  She ran her palms over the taut muscles of his thighs, fingers closing around his throbbing member.  “I want to taste you.”  She glanced up at him as she reached her tongue out to lap at small drops of moisture.

“Ahhh.”  He tossed back his head, reaching his fingers into her hair, as she enclosed him in the velvet moisture of her mouth.  His hips rocked with the sensations her mouth created.  “Ohhh godd Kath..” He grasped her head, thrusting into her hot mouth as she sucked him deeply, her tongue and teeth inflicting excruciating pleasure.  Her hands stroked him, caressing, stimulating.  “Kaaat  ohhh.” He cried out, tangling his fingers painfully in her hair, thrusting hard as he spasmed spilling himself deep in her throat.  She continued sucking, drinking him in, milking the last drops from him, before she stood to take him in her arms, easing them to her bed.

Kathryn crawled into the slender bed beside him, having no choice but to hold him very close.  She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat softly stroking him as he regained control of his breathing. He lifted her chin, smiling he brought her mouth to his, tracing her lips with his tongue, kissing her gently as he shifted their positions.  When finally her back rested on the mattress and he lay on his side next to her, he couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“We need a bigger bed.”  He kissed the tip of her nose as his hand drifted along her side.

“Seems so.”  She tried to focus on his eyes, but the hand now lightly trailing down the front of her nightgown was increasingly distracting.

“I’ll work on it in the morning.”  He continued to stroke her through the soft material, catching an erect nipple and rolling it with his fingers.

“Hummm.”  She closed her eyes.

“Humm—I should work on it or humm I should continue doing this?

“Both.”  She arched her breast into his hand.

“You have too many clothes on.”  He tugged the bottom of the gown and she sat up raising her arms so he could remove it.  She kissed him and her took her shoulders and settled her back against the pillow.  “Your turn, relax and enjoy.”  He bent and captured the dark dimpled surface of her nipple between his lips.

“You think I wasn’t enjoying myself?”  Her hand stroked down his back, she sucked in her breath as his fingers found the junction between her thighs.

“I guess you were.”  He chuckled against her breast as his fingers slipped through her abundant moisture. He leaned over her, kissing her lips, her jaw, his tongue testing the tender spot behind her ear.  She spread her legs wider as he ran a finger though her wet folds just grazing her aching bundle of nerves.  “Like that do you?”  She could felt the words against her neck.

“Yesss.”  She hissed pushing herself toward his hand.  “Ohhh” His fingers lightly stroked her.

Chakotay returned his attention to her breast, licking, sucking in taut nipples.  His fingers stroking her inner thighs, running through damp curls, touch teasing everywhere but where she desperately tried to direct him.

“Godd Chakotay please.”  She swung her hips toward him.

“Patience Kathryn, my turn to taste you.”  He breathed against her belly, as his tongue circled her navel drawing a line to the top of her auburn curls.  He moved between her legs, his fingers spreading her lips.  He glanced up at her, head tossed, eyes closed, chest heaving in anticipation, before he lowered his mouth to her.

“Ayeeess.”  She sucked in her breath and thrust her hips as he ran the flat of his tongue the full length of her.  Unable to reach him, her hands clutched at the sheets.  He nibbled lightly on her lips as his fingers explored her depths, penetrating with one than two.  “Ahh Chaakoo Ohhhh.”  She bucked her hips, straining as he fingers massaged her inner walls and his mouth closed around her swollen nerves.  “Chaaakkootay.”  She screamed as her body convulsed and her inner muscles gripped his thrusting fingers.  He continued as her body shuddered and shook with each new wave.  When she stilled, he moved up and pulled her into his arms, stroking her back and kissing her hair.

“I love you.”  She whispered against his chest and he could feel the wetness as her tears dripped on to him.

“I will always love you.”  He pulled the sheet over them, holding her close as they drifted off to sleep.
 

The sun was steaming through the window, he could feel the warmth of it on his face, the brightness threatened even his closed eyes.  He was aware of a cool breeze crossing the room and then the lightest of touches, as feather like fingers caressed him.  He stayed still, eyes closed savoring the combination of sensations.  As his mind cleared, he realized he wasn’t dreaming, the inquisitive fingers reaching between his legs belonged to Kathryn--- His Kathryn, his amazing, wonderful Kathryn.  He rolled toward her opening one eye.

“Morning.”  She placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Hi.”  He opened the other eye and she smiled at him.  He smiled and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear.  “You are even more beautiful in the morning light.”  His fingers caressed her jaw.

“You’re looking pretty good yourself.”  Her hands continued their journey around his body.

“What ya doing?”  He ran the tip of his finger across her nipple.

“Thinking about breakfast.”  She leaned over and licked his lips.  “You look good enough to eat.”

“Sounds good.”  He bent and nipped her breast.  “Yumm”

“Humm.”  She closed her fingers around him, arching her back as he sucked a rock hard nipple.

Chakotay nibbled her breast, his hand reaching between her legs to spread the moisture already pooled there.  She stroked him, scraping her nails lightly along the full length.  Her thumb spread the escaping fluid around the tip.  He raised her one leg over his hip and pushed in closer to her.  His hand coming up to squeeze her breast, his mouth captured hers, tongues dueling for supremacy.  She dragged him through her wet folds, stroking herself with his sensitive head.  Their hips rocked, their breath became ragged, he rolled her back and posed himself above her.  He kissed her hard and she wrapped her legs around his hips.

“I need you.”  She breathed trying to force him closer with her legs.

“Kathryn.”  She opened her eyes and he held them as he slowly lowered himself to her, easing in until he was buried deep inside her.  “I love you.”  He leaned in to suckle her breast, rocking his hips, then thrusting slow and deep, until she writhed beneath him.

“You’re soo---ohoo” She bucked up meeting his thrusts, grinding against him.  “Ohh Ohh godds.”  She dug her nails into his back as her body bucked and her inner muscles gripped and released him.  “Ahhhhhhh”

“Kathh” He pounded faster shorter thrusts, gripped her hips and slammed himself into her, stilling as he spasmed deep inside.

He collapsed on her and she held him close to her own quaking body.  He tried to move his weight from her, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Don’t leave me.”  She breathed as she clung to him.

“I won’t—I don’t want to crush you.”

“You’re not—stay please.”  She buried her face in his neck.  “You feel so good.”
 

They stayed snuggled together for a long time, eventually she allowed him to roll them to their sides.  They fell back to sleep and woke and made love and rested and made love again and it wasn’t until mid afternoon they finally left her bed.  He left her sleeping, showered and started “breakfast”-- it was 1400 hours before she joined him.
 

“Hey, thought you were gonna sleep all day.”  He smiled, handing her a cup of coffee, as she stumbled to the table.

“I already did—didn’t I.”  She sat down.  “Thank you.”

“All part of the service, Ma’am.”  He kissed her cheek.

“One hell of a service you run here.”

“We aim to please.”

“Yea---I noticed.”  She laughed and gulped her coffee.  “How long till breakfast?”

“About fifteen minutes, no time for a bath, but you could catch a sonic shower.”  He laughed at the face she made.  “Later, I promise a nice long hot bath.”

“OK, Can I get some more coffee first?”  She moved in next to him.  “Hummm, looks good.”  She poured her coffee, eyeing him over the cup.

“Breakfast?”

“OH yea—that too.”  She ducked away toward the shower.

 They called it the first day of forever and they marked it, later that night, with a frolic in the tub, champagne and a long slow night of love making.  As the days passed, Chakotay made them a new bed and they rearranged the interior of the shelter to suit their new lives.  She planted a garden and he made their living arrangements more comfortable and convenient.  They spent long days working and playing in the sun and longer nights wrapped in each other’s arms.  Life on New Earth was good.

Once their home was secure and the “crops” were planted, they explored the planet and planned a trip down the river.  Chakotay worked on plans for their boat and proudly showed them to her.

“These are wonderful. Do you think we can build it?”  She leaned back in his arms as they looked over the blue print for the new boat.

“I think so.”  He kissed her hair.  “You’ll have to help me.”

“Like everything else.”  She turned in his arms, wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled at him. “We’ll do it together.”

He bent and meshed his mouth with hers.  It was a different life, they had here but it was very good and he was very grateful for it.  The static almost went unnoticed at first, then she pulled back and looked at him.

“What was that?”  They listened and moved toward the noise, then it became clearer.

“Tuvok to Janeway.”  It was the comm. badge.

She stared at him, uncertainty and fear in her eyes.  Voyager wasn’t ever supposed to be in range again.

“Tuvok to Janeway.”  The call came again.

He reached for the comm badge and handed it to her.

“Janeway here”

“Captain, good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too, Tuvok—what are you doing here?”  She held the badge in one hand—and his arm with the other.

“Captain, we have obtained a cure and will be in orbit tomorrow morning.”

“Acknowledged, Tuvok.”  She stared at him.

“I will contact you then—Tuvok out.”

They stood dumbfounded.  Silently they stared into each other’s eyes.  He saw the tears well up and reached for her.  She broke and ran out the door.  He couldn’t move he couldn’t follow—he stood there frozen—until he heard the painful wail from outside.  Her cry startled him into action and he ran outside and into the woods to find her slumped on the ground, crying.

“Kathryn.”  He knelt down and took her in his arms.  “Kathryn, it will be alright.”

“NO” She shouted trying to pull away.  “I don’t want to go back”

“Shhh Kathryn, we will work this out.”  He held her rocking her in his arms as she sobbed, his own tears falling on her hair.

“I won’t do it –I won’t go back.”  She pounded her fists against his chest.  “No Chakotay.”  She stopped and looked up at him.  “Please—please don’t make me go back.”  She dropped her head to his chest and cried.

“Kat you don’t have to do anything.  Shhh.”  He held her and rocked her for what seemed like hours.  He assured her she wouldn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to, but in the end they both knew there was no choice.

It was dark before they went home.  The walked in silence into the shelter, their small private world—a world that was about to be torn apart.  They retreated to their bed and made love like it was the very first time---or the last.

When he woke he was alone, he knew he would be.  He looked all through the shelter, then wandered down to the river and there he found her.  She was wearing her uniform, her hair pulled into the tight bun and she turned to look at him with sad but determined eyes.

“Kathryn, we can ….”  He had to try, though he knew he couldn’t succeed.

“No, Chakotay.”  She stood closer but didn’t touch him.  “We both know I have to go back. We both do.”

“Yes-- but it doesn’t have to change things between us.”

“Yes it does.  You know I can’t be what they need, this way.  I have to be the Captain.  I owe it to them.”

“What about us –Me –what do you owe me?”

“I owe you a way home, I owe you the best Captain possible, I…”

“Kathryn, I love you.”  She didn’t answer him, she just stood looking at him her eyes pleading for understanding.

“Commander, it is almost time.”

“Kathryn…”  He watched as she turned away and walked back to the shelter.
 

The call came shortly after that and an away team brought them the vaccine.  They needed to wait several hours after it was administered before they returned to Voyager.  They used the time to pack up the shelter and transport the remains to Voyager.  Finally, they stood in uniform side by side on the empty planet, much as they did the day they arrived----but not quite.

“Voyager to Janeway”

“Janeway here”

“Are you ready Captain?”

“Hold on Voyager—I’ll let you know.”  She turned to him.  “Chakotay”

“I’m ready Captain.”

“Chakotay, I’m sorry”

“Me too”

“I’ll always love you.”  She kissed him softly and turned away wiping her tears.  “Janeway to Voyager”

“Voyager here Captain”

“Two to beam up”

They shimmered away in the blue light of the transporter, leaving all they had gained behind.

The transition back to the Captain and First Officer of Voyager was a difficult one, for the command team as well as the crew.  Having done what they felt was right, the crew risked everything to save their commanding officers and now some of them were beginning to feel it had been a mistake.

When the Captain and Chakotay left Voyager they were friends, as well as colleagues and the crew hoped that when they returned they would be even more.  The members of the away team that had delivered the serum to the planet, had seen the shelter—there was only one bedroom -one bed.  The sad truth was that now they barely even spoke to one another, avoided looking directly at each other and never spent any off time alone together.  It had been painful to watch her bark orders at him the day they returned and to listen as he sat and replied only ‘Yes Ma’am’ and it grew more painful to see almost every day.

Weeks passed and the ship functioned, the command team worked efficiently and correctly together.  The old friendship showed up every now and then, just long enough to offer hope, but one of them would always pull back and the silence would start again.  In crisis they worked well together and so the crew almost welcomed any hint of a crisis.

The next crises came in the familiar form of Seska.  Voyager found a message buoy containing a plea from Seska to help save her and the child she claimed to be Chakotay’s, from the Kazon.  Chakotay had been reluctant but the Captain insisted that he consider his options carefully and in the end Voyager went to rescue the child.  As it turned out, it was a trap, another plan by Seska, to obtain Federation technology for the Kazon.  Voyager was boarded and the Captain force to surrender her ship to the Kazon.

The crew was set down on a desolate, primitive planet and left to fend for themselves, as the Kazon and Seska flew off in Voyager.  It wasn’t easy finding shelter or provisions, even starting a fire proved to be a challenge.  It did however spark the old ties between the Captain and her first officer.  At times they were seen talking quietly and often they laughed –alone and with the crew.  The Captain even teased Chakotay when he said he was the only Indian in the universe who couldn’t start a fire by rubbing two sticks together and she willingly gave up her hair for the cause.  For all the bad things they faced, there was this point of light for the crew.  The command team was happier than they had been since their return four weeks earlier.  And when they were rescued and Voyager secured, the relationship seemed make the transition with the crew.  The friendship was tentative and fragile but it was there and everyone was just a little bit happier for it

It only took a few days to dash everyone’s hopes again.  Just three days back on Voyager and the Captain was hiding out alone again.  She was distant and quiet again, preoccupied almost.  She snapped at the Commander right on the bridge and ducked into her ready room.  They saw her briefly two hours later.

“Commander, the bridge is yours.”  The doors to the ready room flew open and the Captain crossed to the lift without so much as a look at anyone.

“Aye, Captain.”  He didn’t look up, his face the perfect mask, covering any thing he might have felt, as the lift doors closed behind her.

 

“Doctor, your office.”  The Captain ordered as she entered sick bay, she didn’t look at him, didn’t wait for an answer just let herself into his office and took a seat.

“Captain, I was under the impression this meeting was of a medical nature.”  The doctor reluctantly joined her in the office.

“In a manner of speaking.”  She was short and impatient, uncustomary twisting her hands.

“Then shouldn’t I be examining you –determining exactly what your condition is?”

“I’m all too aware of my “condition” Doctor.  What I need from you is a solution.”

“Well perhaps you could enlighten me as to this condition and perhaps….”  His tone was sarcastic and she cut him off before he could finish.

“Doctor, I’m pregnant.”

“You?…Are you certain of this Captain?”  He reached for his tricorder.

“Oh for spirits sake—of course I’m sure.”  She waved her hand at him impatiently  “Go ahead take your scan—confirm my diagnosis.”

“I see.”  He studied the tricorder.  “Yes, according to this you are seven weeks pregnant…”

“How could this happen?”  She stood up and began to pace.

“Well Captain, the usual process…”

“I know how it’s done, doctor.”  If looks could kill and holograms could die, the doctor would have been finished when she spun around and leaned over his desk.  “My boosters are all current and the…both of ours are.”

“I’m not sure Captain, but I will look into it if that’s what you want.”

“Yes, I would like to know the answer to that –but what is important right now is that we do something about this.”  She avoided his eyes and finally turned her back to him.

“First I should examine you more thoroughly, we need to be certain of your health and the baby’s of course.”  He watched her reflection in the glass.  “At your age, while certainly not unheard of…”

“I’m thirty nine doctor –hardly old—but it really doesn’t matter.”  She didn’t face him, but her reflection showed a stressed almost sorrowful expression.  She took a deep breath and continued in an even voice. “Doctor, I can not have a child at this time.”

“Captain, are you asking me to terminate this pregnancy?”  He hesitated.  “I’m not sure I can do that---without sufficient reason.”

“Doctor, I am captain of a Starship, stranded 70 thousand light years from home.  I have a crew of 147 who depend on me to keep them safe.  I have a very difficult job to do and need to center all my attention on my ship and crew and our safe return to the alpha quadrant.  I can not have a child at this time.”

“I am aware of all that, Captain.  I do not however, believe it sufficient reason to terminate this pregnancy.  Ethically I do not think…”

“Doctor, perhaps I haven’t made my self clear.  This is not a request, I am ordering you to terminate this pregnancy.”  She turned to face him, when he rose to protest, she held up her hand to silence him.  “Doctor, I will delete you ethical sub routines if necessary.”

“Captain, you do not mean that.”

“Doctor I have never been more serious in my life.”  She stared at him with what the others referred to as her death glare, but this time it wavered just the slightest.

“I will need to examine you further.  You will need to arrange a few days off.”  She looked about to protest, but he continued.  “You health is of primary concern here—you will not help your crew or your ship if you are reckless with you health.”

“Agreed.  When will you do it.”

“I believe we both need to prepare for this—you will need to clear you schedule.”  He studied the screen before him, as if he had many pressing appointments.  “Day after tomorrow, report here at 0500, that way we will have you back in your quarters before most of the crew is on duty.”

“Allright.”  There was relief in her voice, but also a quiet resignation.

“Now, I’ll want to examine you and do a few tests.”  He ushered her out of the office. “Please undress and return to this area.”  He handed her a medical gown.

Kathryn had little to say after that, she just silently endured his tests, scans and subsequent examination.

"So does he agree with this?”  The doctor broke the silence.

“Huh? What ?”  She had been lost in her own thoughts and totally missed his question.

“The Commander, does he agree.  This is after all, his child too.”

“No I—what makes you think this child is his?”  She was annoyed, she didn’t want to think about this and she certainly didn’t want to think about Chakotay.

“Captain, seven weeks ago you were living on a planet inhabited only by you and the Commander, the deduction was not difficult.”  He stopped his work and looked up at her.  “Not that it would be difficult to make the connection otherwise.”  He watched her avoid his eyes.  “You didn’t tell him?”

“Doctor, this conversation is irrelevant.”

“He has a right to know.”

“Perhaps, but you will not tell him.”

“This is his child too—you have no right to….”

“Doctor.”  She glared at him.  “This conversation is over.  You will not discuss this with anyone—especially the Commander.  Understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”  He completed his work.  “I’m finished you may get dressed.  If I find no complications, I will expect you day after tomorrow at 0500.”  He turned and walked away.

The Captain dressed and headed for the bridge.  In the lift she steeled herself for the next step, the doors opened on the bridge.

“Commander, my ready room.”  She ordered briskly as she crossed over to the doors.

“Yes, Captain.”  He rose and nodded to Tuvok as he followed her inside.

“Commander.”  She took a seat behind her desk, but didn’t offer him one.  “Starting day after tomorrow, I will be taking a few days off, please arrange the duty roster accordingly.”  She never looked up at him.

“Captain.”  He hesitated until she looked up.  “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Commander. I simply would like sometime off.  Hardly an unreasonable request.”  She saw the hurt flash across his face.  She hated to do this to him, but she needed to keep this professional.  “Thank you for you concern.”  She said a little softer.  “Dismissed”
 

Kathryn spent the remainder of the shift alone in her ready room, the evening alone in her quarters and deserted the bridge for her ready room at the first opportunity the next day.  Her conversations were short and crisp most limited to curt orders.  At the end of shift she secluded herself in her quarters again.  She would be off duty for the next two days and it came as a welcome relief to the bridge crew, who although concerned about her recent behavior, needed a break from the tension it produced.

Chakotay was going over the morning reports in the ready room, as he prepared for the morning staff meeting.  Fortunately things were pretty quiet, with the Captain’s current state of mind they didn’t need trouble.  He speculated for a short time on just what was on her mind, but dismissed it as territory they had covered many times in the past weeks.  He had believed they were forging a new relationship for a while, but the last few days were particularly difficult.

“Doctor to the Ready room”

“Chakotay here doctor.”

“Oh, Commander. I was looking for the Captain.”

“She has taken some time off Doctor. I thought you were aware.”

“Yes, well that is why I am looking for her.  I expected her here hours ago.”

“In sickbay?”  The edge of panic in his voice told the doctor she had never told him.  “Is the Captain ill?”

“Not exactly, Commander.”

“Doctor, what’s wrong with her?”

“Commander, I can not discuss the Captain’s condition with you.”

“Doctor, I am the first officer if the Captain is ill…”

“She is not.  Should this represent a threat to the ship you will be the first to be informed.  Now I must find the Captain.”

“Have you asked the computer to locate her?”

“Yes, Commander, she has placed a block on her comm badge, at my request, I didn’t want her disturbed.”

“I see.  I can have security...”

“No thank you, Commander, that won’t be necessary.  I’m sure I can locate her.  Doctor out.”

Chakotay tried to understand the conversation he just had.  The doctor was looking for the Captain; she had missed some kind of appointment.  Her comm badge was blocked at the doctor’s request and yet he called here knowing she was off duty.  Something was very wrong and he needed to figure it out.  He considered the options for a while.

“Computer lock on to the Captain’s bio signature and give me her location.”

“CAPTAIN JANEWAY IS IN HER QUARTERS, DECK THREE SECTION ALPHA 301”

He handed the bridge off to Tuvok on his way to the lift, he would get to the bottom of this and he would do it now.  He stood outside her door for several minutes, before opening it and entering without ringing the chime.  She might throw him in the brig for this, but he didn’t care.  There were voices in her bedroom and he stopped at the doorway to listen.

“Captain, I expected you hours ago.”  The doctor was speaking to her, but Chakotay couldn’t see her.  He moved closer and spotted her lying on the bed, face down.  “Captain, are you alright?”

“Yes.”  Her reply was low and he thought she was crying.

“Captain, will you be coming to sickbay?”  The doctor’s voice was gentle, very unlike his sarcastic self.

“I have to.”

“No, Captain, I think you are wrong about that.”  He moved closer and Chakotay watched him place his hand on her back.  “You can change your mind---infact I think you already have.  This is not a decision to be undertaken lightly—take more time if you need it.”

“Doctor I must do this, I don’t have a choice.”  Her voice was cracking and she was clearly crying now.  “This—this is—oh gods this is my baby…”  She was sobbing.

“Baby?”  Chakotay spoke for the first time, alerting them to his presence.  He stepped into the room.

“Chakotay?”  She turned shocked to hear his voice.

“Kathryn, why didn’t you tell me?”  He demanded as he moved past the doctor.  “What were you thinking? What did you…”  He looked at her tear stained face and up at the doctor.  “No, Kathryn.” He dropped down on the bed and scooped her up in his arms, now understanding what was going on here.  “No Kath---god don’t even think of doing this.”

“Chakotay, I can’t….”

“Kathryn, we can work this out.”  He held her away from him, lifting her chin to study her face.  “Kathryn, I love you---I know you love me, we can do this.”

“The ship—the crew, I don’t think..”

“Yes, we can.”  He pulled her close.  “We tried to go back—it didn’t work.  Please Kathryn, try this my way.”

“It won’t work, I have ..”

“Kathryn, look at me.”  He moved her back tilting her face to him.  “Look at me and tell me you don’t want this baby.”

“It’s not that simple.”  The tears poured down her cheeks.

“Yes it is—if you can’t look at me and tell me you don’t want this—that you don’t already love this baby— it is that simple.”  He watched her.  “Kathryn, trust me—you don’t have to do this alone.”

“I love you.”  She rested her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him.  “I’ve missed you so.”

“Always, Kathryn—I will always love you.”  He held her close, kissing her hair, stroking her back trying to soothe away the demons.  “Together.  Like everything else, we will do this together.”

The doctor left quietly: they didn’t notice him and he was certain they wouldn’t miss him.  He knew it would be difficult, their positions on the ship would complicate everything.  But he truly believed it would be better for the ship—the crew would welcome this and certainly the command team themselves would be happier.  And what better sign of hope for their futures, than a new life---yes this was going to work out after all.

The End

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