Captain Janeway took another sip of her coffee and set it down on the desk, just as the chime to her door rang. "Come in," she called. She was already having a completely awful day and when she saw who was at her door, she knew it was unlikely to get any better.
The door to her new office opened to admit Seven. "Captain, I was wondering if you had a moment for me to speak to you?"
"Of course, Seven," said Kathryn, trying to not show any bitterness in her voice. She still was having a hard time adjusting to the idea of Chakotay and Seven together.
"It is of a ... personal nature," said Seven a little hesitantly.
"Okay, what seems to be the problem?" said Kathryn.
"As you know Chakotay and I have been dating. Up until last night we were taking it... slow as he requested," she began. "Last night I had decided that it was time for us to copulate, and it did not take much encouragement for him to agree," she explained.
"Seven, I would hope by now you know it isn't appropriate for a person to ... kiss and tell," said Kathryn, really not wanting any more details than she was already getting.
"But Captain, this is where my problem lies. I would really appreciate it if I could continue," said Seven.
Kathryn inwardly groaned, "all right, proceed."
"To make you more comfortable I will proceed directly to the problem. Once naked, I noticed that Chakotay is not what you would call your normal male. His penis is ... how should I say this, deformed?" said Seven.
"Deformed?" Now Kathryn was curious. "Explain further what you mean by deformed, Seven."
"Deformed may not be the correct term. I did sufficient study on the human male, so that I would be prepared for all aspects of a relationship. All studies indicate the average human male penis, when flaccid is approximately 3 to 4 inches long. When the human male becomes aroused the penis will grow to approximately 5 to 7 inches long," explained Seven.
"I believe I have heard the same," said Kathryn.
"Chakotay does not fall into that category. In fact he is extremely far out of that range. Upon seeing just how large his penis is I explained to him that I was no longer interested in the act of copulation. So I proceeded to get dressed and told him that perhaps he was not the best man to help me further my humanity," said Seven matter of factly.
Kathryn closed her mouth that she was sure had been gaping open for quite sometime. "Extremely large huh?"
"Yes, and I was wondering, are the studies incorrect? Should I expect this with the next male I encounter?"
"Seven," began Kathryn, doing her best to prepare for the speech she was about to give. "The male penis can vary in size and you should understand that you may encounter men whose penis falls quite a bit under that average and some that go quite a bit over the average."
"Have you encountered a penis such as I described?" said Seven.
Kathryn nearly choked but still answered, "not yet," she said with a slight smile.
"Do you feel that I acted appropriately?" asked Seven.
"Seven, if you feel that ...umm... an encounter such as that would be too much for you than its better that you stopped it before you... got hurt," Kathryn said. "Some women would appreciate," damn this was hard, "the size of his penis. Others, such as yourself would find such an encounter daunting."
"That is correct, it was very daunting. I do not wish to copulate with a man whose penis is deformed as such," Seven explained.
"Seven, please do not use the word deformed. That would be insulting to the Commander, and a large penis size is not a deformation. In fact, some would say itís a gift," oh shit did I just say that? "Any way, I'm not sure what to tell you. It's not appropriate for you to ask a man about his penis size before you begin to date, so you just may encounter this very same problem."
"I see. Is there a way I could find out more discreetly then?" asked Seven.
Kathryn chuckled, "well, there is an old wives tale that says the size of a man's hand correlates with the size of his penis. The Commander does have very large hands."
"So if a man has small hands he may be more appropriate for me?" asked Seven.
"I would guess that would be a good start," said Kathryn.
"Thank you, Captain," said Seven. "About Chakotay, do you think that I may have ... hurt his feelings by acting the way I did?"
"Perhaps, but don't worry about that. I will go ... speak to him and make sure that he is okay," said Kathryn with a grin.
"Thank you Captain, I must go now I have an appointment with the Doctor that I must keep," said Seven as she promptly dismissed herself.
Kathryn nodded to Seven as she exited then quickly turned to her computer. It would take no time at all to find out where Chakotay was living now. And of course it would be up to the former Captain of Voyager to make sure her former First Officer was okay after the crude way that his girlfriend left him. And perhaps it would be a great time for some medical research on deformities.
Yes today turned out to be a great day after all.
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