Family Ties
By Sheri
rated pg13
Chakotay sat on the bunk of the small room with his hands in his hair, trying to come to terms with the news he had been told. Kathryn Janeway now had a daughter. He had no right to be upset. Why would she wait for him? He had no idea how long he would be in prison. Besides, it’s not like she really had let him know how she truly felt. The words she spoke could have simply been the parting words of friends.
When they arrived home in the Alpha Quadrant, the Maquis had been immediately taken into custody. He pleaded for days and finally got the others all released on one condition: he would take the punishment for them all. He didn’t like it but it was his only choice; ‘the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the one or the few.’
He had now been in prison for two years. He remembered the day he was taken away; he had been handcuffed and they had been escorting him down the hall when Kathryn stopped them. “Take care of yourself,” she said. Then she mouthed the words, ‘I love you.’ That was the last time he had seen her.
Chakotay had only been allowed a few letters but none came from Kathryn. Oh, he knew they were deliberately keeping some from him; he suspected hers were among the ones he would never see. The guards had often taunted him with rumors about her, about how she had gone on with her life and not wasted her time on a criminal like him, but he had always blown them off. But now, the letter from B’Elanna convinced him the rumors were true.
B’Elanna wrote she and Tom had not seen the Captain once since they got home. He had been happy to learn that Admiral Paris had welcomed them both and their daughter with open arms, but wished they had kept in closer touch with Kathryn. Then out of the blue a couple weeks ago, they read an article that reported Kathryn Janeway and her daughter had made a surprise appearance at a Starfleet function that had been held a few weeks earlier. No pictures had been available. Nor was there any information about the child. The article only stated that they had shown up and left a shortly afterwards.
Chakotay couldn’t help but wonder why Tom and B’Elanna had chosen to remain out of contact with Kathryn. He had hoped they would look after her for him, but obviously something had happened that forced everyone apart. He wanted to write and ask all sorts of questions but he knew that his letter would never be delivered so he did not bother. He lay back on his bunk, hoping for sleep that he knew would not come.
************
Six months after the letter from B’Elanna arrived, Chakotay received the news that he was being released. His original sentence had been 10 years but the Federation had finally concede to counting the seven years on Voyager, his more than two years plus the time he had spent in the brig during his trial.
Chakotay had no idea where to go. He wanted to find his family or what was left of it. He knew he might still have some relatives somewhere on Earth, but he didn’t know where to begin looking. He had to pick a destination quickly so he chose his home planet. At least their people might have word of his relatives.
**************
The trip had been a long one and Chakotay was grateful to finally be on outside free to move around instead of being in shackles. There wasn’t a lot left, but it looked like the small community was attempting to rebuild.
He made his way to one of the few older houses that he hoped still served as the residence of an old family friend. He was lucky; the man was old, but still alive, and remembered Chakotay well. “It’s been a long time, son.”
“Yes, it has. How have you been, Antonio?” the man was 25 years older than he -- a kind man who had often gone on the excursions his father who together had dragged Chakotay as a young boy along with them.
“Oh, fine, Chakotay. It’s looking well here, is it not? We have been working hard to rebuild this place. Another few years and I think you will not be able to tell there was ever a war fought here.”
“Yes, it’s looking great. It’s nice to come back and still find old friends in spite of all that has happened.”
“So, what are you looking for, Chakotay? I can tell you are searching for something?” The old man asked.
“You always knew me so well, Antonio. I need to know…something…anything about my family. Did anyone survive; I really want to find someone – anyone; I need to find them.”
“Ah yes, Chakotay, I understand you. I don’t know if this information will bring you consolation or more pain but it is one that has to be told. When you returned, you learned that your family had all been killed -- that everyone had been killed. You also learned that some of the tribe had been away when it happened.” The old man paused to take a deep breath. “What you did not find out was that your sister, Peta, was one of those away; she was not here when the people were murdered. She survived.”
Chakotay was stunned. “Peta, where is she?”
Antonio lowered his head, “I am so sorry, son.”
Chakotay did not want to catch his hidden meaning. “Is she still alive?”
“No, I am sorry to say that she is not. But Chakotay, this is the hard part, when Peta came back, she was pregnant. She had a daughter -- a little girl she named Cerise. I had wished to take care of her when Peta died, but I’m too old and there were no others who could give her a home because of the destruction so she was taken to an orphanage where many children were cared for by loving people.”
“How did Peta die?” Chakotay asked.
“She became ill a short time after Cerise was born. Her death was quick and painless. She did not suffer.”
“Chakotay, despite the fact that the planet is doing well, we are poor. Someone came two years ago and offered to help us. We greatly needed her help. While she was here she met the children at the orphanage and got to know them and their stories. When she learned that Cerise had no family she decided she could give her the home Cerise would never have otherwise. She came back with a man, her husband, and many other people. Without their help we would not have made as much progress as we have. She stayed for nearly a year helping our people rebuild our world with her husband coming back and forth due to his work. But they could not stay forever but they gave what they could before they left. We of the village were saddened when the orphanage officials let her take Cerise, but we knew that Cerise would have a home and family and a better life than if she stayed here. I am sorry son, but to be honest, even if we had all known you would be released so soon I’m not sure they would have kept Cerise in the orphanage hoping you would raise her. I am sorry.”
“Do you know who the people were who adopted Cerise? Do you know anything about them at all?” Chakotay was desperate; he had to find his niece.
“No, Chakotay, I don’t.”
Chakotay put his hand on the man’s shoulder in a gesture of understanding made his farewells and left; there was nothing left for him here. He wasn’t sure what he would do, probably go to Earth and look up Tom and B’Elanna. He would need them and their help to come to terms with this.
*************
The trip to Earth took two weeks during which time Chakotay had made several decisions. The most important one was that he had resolved to see Kathryn and let her know he had accepted her decision to move on. He was not in control of her life; he never had been. It would kill him to see her, but he desperately needed to find some closure in their relationship and he could not do that without seeing her. He would go see Tom and B’Elanna first and spend some time with them. He needed family right now and they were the closest thing to family that he had.
Chakotay was thrilled to step off the transport and find B’Elanna there waiting for him. He had sent a message ahead letting them know he was coming but had not expected anyone to meet him.
B'Elanna approached him with her arms wide open.
“I’ve missed you old man.”
He returned the hug then placed his hand on her swollen belly.
“Forget to tell me something?”
“Oh, that, well, maybe I wanted to surprise you; I’m due in three months.”
“Your first since Muriel?” he asked curiously.
“Of course. I would have told you if there were any others. Come on, you’re going to stay with us. We have a room all set up for you. Tom had to work this morning, but he’ll be home soon.” She led him over to the nearest transport center after grabbing his bag. They arrived at the house just a short time later.
“What’s wrong Chakotay? You’re awfully quiet.”
“Everything, B’Elanna. When I went to Dorvan, I found out that my sister Peta had survived the war. She was away from the village when it was destroyed. When she returned, Peta was pregnant. She had a baby girl that she named Cerise but she died shortly after the baby’s birth.”
B’Elanna interrupted, “Oh, Chakotay, I’m so sorry about your sister, but you have a niece. That’s wonderful!”
“No, B’Elanna, Cerise lived on the planet until two years ago, when a woman who came to help and saw her and decided to adopt her. The elders don’t know anything about the woman and her family and the orphanage officials can’t release the information so I have no idea where Cerise is, not even what she looks like. Nothing.”
“Oh, Chakotay, I’m sorry,” she said wrapping her arms around him.
“B’Elanna, if I hadn’t gone to prison, I might have had a chance to adopt her myself. From what I learned, she was adopted just a couple months after my incarceration. I failed her; I should have been there for her.”
“Chakotay, listen to me. There was nothing you could have done. Now don’t give up; there has to be a way to find her.”
“Think about it, B’Elanna. They won’t
give me any information I'm a criminal; they’ll say 'she’s better off without
you'."
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s
not like you to give up so easily. What about the Captain? Surely she
would have some pull with someone who could help, and I can’t imagine she
wouldn’t try to help you.”
“I know she probably would help me, but I’m not ready to see her yet. I still have to get used to the idea of her being married and having a child. I was really hoping that would be me she married…. Besides, the adoption took place on Dorvan. There is no reason for any records to be here. I don’t even know if the people who adopted her were human or if they resided on Earth. Cerise could be anywhere. Kathryn wouldn’t be able to help much.”
“Look, Chakotay, you don’t know the circumstances, none of us do. We don’t know whether Kathryn is married; we only know that she has a child. You should go see her. She may be able to find out something about Cerise.”
Chakotay sighed, "You're right B'Elanna. I'll go see her."
B'Elanna smiled, "Of course I'm right."
***********
Kathryn sighed and sank back into the couch. That little girl had so much energy. She wished she could get some kind of information -- any information -- about Chakotay. Since she cut herself off from Starfleet she had not been able to keep in touch with any of Voyager’s crew. She only made an occasional appearance hoping that she would be able to get more information about Chakotay; it never seemed to work though, she knew no more about him today than the day he was taken away to prison
She had so many scenarios in her mind about his homecoming, some of them happy, others sad. She didn’t have any right to assume that he would still want her, but she tried to maintain a positive attitude. If nothing else, they would have the child to keep their friendship intact -- a child who needed them both.
Her daughter always kept her mind on the more positive track. Daughter, that was a word she had really grown to love, Cerise brought such joy to her life, a joy she never imagined possible. Cerise had been a quiet child when she first came into Kathryn’s life. She had lived such a hard life for one so young.
Kathryn did her best to shower Cerise with affection, letting her know how much she was loved. The child filled a void in Kathryn’s heart, a void that she hadn't even realized she had.
“Mommy, what’s this?” Cerise asked as she came down the stairs carrying a rather large box.
“Where did you find that? I have been looking all over for it.” Kathryn stated.
“It was up in the attic,” explained Cerise.
“Well, no wonder I couldn’t find it. I never go up there.”
“So, what is it?” she asked again eyeing the box with curiosity.
“Well, it contains memories of my time on Voyager. There are pictures, some movies made by Neelix, even a few holodeck chips.” Kathryn thumbed through the box, “Wow, I even saved Fair Haven. Now why did I do that I wonder?”
“Fair Haven, what’s that?” Cerise asked.
“Well, when we were on Voyager, our main form of entertainment was the holodecks. Tom Paris created Fair Haven, an old Irish town.”
“But why did you save it? Did you like it there?”
“Well,” she paused for a moment, “it was a special place, I really enjoyed myself there.”
“Did daddy… I mean Chakotay… I’m sorry, Mom, I did it again.” Cerise looked upset.
“Hey, that’s ok. I really don’t think he will mind you calling him that. But like I said, we will have to ask him first, ok?”
“Tell me about him again, Mom.” Cerise looked at her with her big brown eyes, so much like Chakotay’s.
“Which story do you want today?”
“Anything, I just like hearing about him. Did he like Fair Haven?”
“No, I don’t think he really did," she said sounding a bit wistful, " I used to like someone there, and I don’t think Chakotay was comfortable with that. Besides, it wasn’t his type of hangout. He liked nature, so he would often recreate his favorite forest or something like that. He also liked to box, so he would box with Boothby a lot.”
“And you said he was a vegetarian, and he liked to eat mushroom soup too right? I don’t like mushrooms; they’re gross. He won’t make me eat them will he?”
Kathryn laughed, “No, he won’t do that. He is a very kind, and gentle man. When he sees you, he will definitely love you. No doubt about it.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Of course I do?” Kathryn said, “Hopefully he will be home soon and we will be one big happy family.”
“Do you love him, Mom?”
Kathryn smiled at the often repeated question, “Oh yes, I do, very much.”
“Are you going to marry him?”
“You know, you ask a lot of questions and I’ve
answered the ones I can before. You know we have to wait for him to
come home first before we get the rest of our answers.” She hoped that would
turn the questions in another direction. Kathryn knew she could
use Cerise as a weapon to get Chakotay to stay with her after he was released
from prison, but she also knew she wouldn’t. She hoped she wouldn’t
need a weapon. She had held him off for over seven years on Voyager
so she couldn’t just assume that he would come home from prison and still
be in love with her. She knew how she felt -- she wanted to spend the rest
of her life with Chakotay. But she knew that after all these years he might
not return her feelings. She would have to wait and see and hope his
feelings were as strong as hers were after all these years.
***********
Chakotay felt lost, he knew what he had to do but he just wasn’t sure how to do it. The Federation was so large that there would be know way he could find Cerise without help from Starfleet, and he was still doubtful that they would help. He had no choice; he had to go see Kathryn. She might have the pull to get him what he needed, and he did believe in his heart that she would help him.
Chakotay woke up early having decided the night before to go to Kathryn’s house today. She was living with her mother. He found it odd that she would do that if she were married but he would understand that she would find it hard to leave her mother alone. Then again, maybe she hadn’t married maybe she just had a child; maybe…
“Too many maybes. Just go see her and find out for yourself, you old fool,” he told himself.
He found himself an hour later standing outside of a rather large white house. He noticed off in a field the large tree that Kathryn had mentioned so fondly. He approached the door and after pausing for a few moments, knocked at the door. A few seconds later it was opened to reveal a little girl about 7 or 8 with long black hair and a golden complexion. She was absolutely beautiful. She must be one of Kathryn’s sister’s children.
The little girl stared at him with the most surprised look on her face then ran off yelling something excitedly. She had never said a word to him. Moment's later Kathryn came to the door.
“Chakotay, oh my god! They didn’t tell me you were out,” she cried throwing her arms around him. “Oh, I have missed you so much.” This was the moment she had been dreading and anticipating. She only hoped he has wanted to see her as much as she had wanted to see him.
Chakotay was surprised at her greeting but happily returned the hug. “I’ve missed you too, Kathryn.”
“I have so much to tell you, I don’t know where to start. Oh yes I do, come on in, you have to meet someone.” She laughed.
“Kathryn, I came…” she hushed him with her fingers on her lips.
She wanted to show him just how much he meant to her after too many years of holding him off. “First things first, you don’t know how long I have waited to do this,” she said before gently kissing him on the lips. They were interrupted by giggles.
Kathryn laughed, and turned towards the source, “Chakotay, I’m not sure how to tell you about this, but I found out something shortly after I came home. I had to do something about it, so … well, Cerise come here.”
Chakotay heard the name but didn’t yet catch on. The little girl who originally greeted him came out from behind the couch and leaned onto Kathryn; she was obviously quite shy.
“Mom,” she whispered, “so do I call him Uncle Chakotay or Daddy?” she asked.
Chakotay’s eyes got wide; it hit him all of a sudden just who the child was. “Cerise? You mean, all this time, you had her?”
“So you do know about her? Your sister’s daughter?” The little girl leaned against Kathryn still staring at Chakotay. “ Yes of course, the message was actually for you, but since you were incarcerated, I stepped forward. I recruited poor Mark, told him we had to pretend to be married and that we were going to adopt a little girl from Dorvan. His wife thought it was a wonderful idea, so I became her for a few weeks, dragged him off, we played the part, making arrangements for our return. I stayed there, on a permanent basis, helping as I could, with Mark coming and going. His wife didn't mind, her work kept her busy, and Mark liked helping out where he could. He always returned with something else to help out the village."
“I don’t know how necessary it was to lie, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. The message for you said that because of your current status, they were going to make Cerise available for immediate adoption, so I adopted her. So… here we are." She was a little nervous, not really knowing what his reaction would be.
He was stunned, “I don’t know what to say; when I heard you had a daughter, I thought for sure I had lost you. I even wondered if there had ever been an ‘us’.” He shook his head letting out a small chuckle, “ I never put the two of you together. I never had any letters from you.” He was still a bit stunned.
“I did write a couple letters, but I don’t suppose they gave them to you. I knew how I felt but wasn’t sure whether I had conveyed it to you before you left. Telling you wasn’t enough; I needed to do something to show you and everyone. When I found out about Cerise, my purpose became clear. I hope you understand? Please, tell me you do.” It was almost a plea.
“Of course, I do. You’ve made me the happiest man alive, Kathryn. I can’t thank you enough. I suppose we still have a lot to figure out here, but we will in time," he said, his fingers caressing her cheek.
Cerise grabbed Chakotay by the hand, "Come on, I'll show you outside, the tree, all the stuff."
Kathryn laughed, "Go on Chakotay, I'll heat up yesterdays leftovers. They were made by grandma and Cerise, you can go play while you wait."
Chakotay smiled and let himself be dragged out of the house. It was all so overwhelming, all the time he spent doubting, to find none of it was true. Ok, it was true, just not how he thought. He never would have guessed that Kathryn would do all of this for him. He and Cerise had made it out to the big tree in the back yard, and Cerise immediately started to climb up it. "Hey, you be careful."
"I'm ok, I climb this a lot. Did you know this was mommy's favorite spot?"
"I seem to remember her telling me about it," answered Chakotay.
"Mommy say's you should be the one to tell me the angry warrior story. She's told it to me, but she says you would do it much better. Is it true that you like to tell stories? Cause I like to hear stories, will you tell me one tonight?"
Chakotay laughed, the little girl was on a role, and obviously wasn't close to stopping, "I tell you what, you come down from there and sit with me, and I will tell you one right now. I do like to tell stories, and I have a lot of them."
Cerise made it down to the ground, and sat next to Chakotay, "Angry Warrior please. I want to hear how you tell it."
He began the tale, but stopped after the first couple of lines, Cerise was saying the words right along with him, "Just how well do you know this one?"
"Well, mommy tells it to me all the time. She says it's her favorite."
He laughed, and began once again. It seemed
he definitely had things twisted a bit, and he now knew it would be ok. Kathryn
Janeway loved him, he didn't doubt that anymore.
********
Kathryn called them in the house a short time later, and they all enjoyed their first of many lunches together. Afterward Cerise ran back outside, so Kathryn took advantage of the momentary peace to talk to Chakotay, “Chakotay, I know you have a lot to think about so I don’t want to rush you with anything today. I also know how I feel about you and I but I wouldn’t blame you for doubting my feelings. Please know I will never keep Cerise away from you, but I have no intention of giving her up. I love her with everything in me.”
“Kathryn, you’re not rushing me. I’m just a little overwhelmed by all the things I learned today. I have loved you for a long time," he said, reaching out to hold her hand across the table, "I wanted to die when I thought you had found someone else. The only thing that kept me going was what you said the last time I saw you. I think we should take things slowly, but I do want to give us a try. I don’t doubt your feelings for me and mine for you have never changed.”
“Look, we have all the time in the world now. Let’s take it one day at a time. You have a niece to get to know, and we have a lot to catch up on. I can show you to one of the extra bedrooms, if you like.”
He smiled at her, “If that’s where you really want me, Kathryn.”
Kathryn knew she was blushing.
“Well, you did say slowly… but to be honest, that’s not where I really want you.”
“Then where do you want me?”
Kathryn was secretly ecstatic; he was acting just as he had back on Voyager -- he was going to make her say it.
“I’ll show you were our room is,” she laughed. “Come on, old man.”
He followed her up the stairs with Cerise bounding in the house and after them eager to show Chakotay her room while they were upstairs.
****************
Chakotay awoke to an empty bed; he slowly sat up, taking in his surroundings. Memories of the night before filled his thoughts and he found it difficult not to smile. Take it slow? Right. Heaven only knew what Gretchen thought at being abandoned. As soon as Cerise was in bed, the two of them practically jumped on each other with an intensity neither had expected from the other. The lovemaking was fast and over almost before they knew what had happened. A prequel was what Kathryn termed it as she began instigating their second encounter. The second time was much slower; they had taken the time to learn each other’s bodies. The extra time took them both to an all time high.
Chakotay heard sounds coming from downstairs, so he reached for his clothes and quickly threw them on. Making his way downstairs, he immediately spotted Kathryn and Cerise. “Good morning, sleepy head,” Kathryn said greeting him with a kiss.
Cerise jumped between the two of them, “Good morning… umm …Chakotay.”
“A good morning to you, too.” He looked at Kathryn quizzically.
“Cerise, why don’t you go take your shower, while I get sleepyhead here to make us breakfast?”
“Alright, Mom,” she said, as she bounded up the stairs.
Kathryn turned to Chakotay, who was still wondering what was going on.
“She has had a bit of trouble deciding just what you are to her. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about you. She knows you’re her uncle, she understands that. But she also knows my feelings for you and what I would like our relationship to be, so since I’m here mother now…"
“And you’ve made me her father figure even though I wasn’t here. This must be very confusing for her.” Chakotay said with understanding.
"I know. I never meant to confuse her but anything else would have been a lie and I wasn’t about to lie to her about anything. I’ve put everything in simple terms, trying to explain about you and why you weren’t here. I was honest about why I chose to seek her out – she was your niece. But I have also made it clear that I love her for herself unconditionally. She knows that no matter what happens between the two of us, she is mine forever because I will never let her go. I think she understands at least the fact that she is loved and wanted for who she is. I just hope I haven’t done her any harm." Kathryn said with a little regret.
“Kathryn, I doubt you have. What you did was the most wonderful thing anyone could have done for me. If you hadn’t stepped in, another family may have adopted Cerise and we both could have lost any chance to know each other. When Antonio told me about her, I almost cried thinking I wouldn’t have a chance to see her or to get to know her. You gave us that, and it just makes me love you even more. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you while we were still on Voyager. It was the thought of spending my life with you that got me through those years in prison and now it is reality. I will spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.”
Kathryn smiled and wrapped her arms around him, “I’m never going to let you go; I love you.”
“I love you too, and I love our daughter too.” Before he could say another word he felt small arms wrap around his waist.
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
************
Chakotay put the call through to Tom and B’Elanna, “Hey, old man, its good to hear from you. Any news?” asked B'Elanna.
“As a matter of fact, yes. I was actually calling to see if you two are free for dinner tonight?”
“Sure, I don’t see why not.”
“Good, here’s the address. We’ll expect you to be here around 1700 hours? Oh, and bring Miral, too.”
“Sure, Chakotay, hey what’s up? Who’s ‘we’?” asked B'Elanna.
“Come tonight and find out. See you then,” he said cutting off the signal.
“You’re just awful.” Kathryn said wrapping her arms around him.
“Hey, I love to surprise people. And I think
they will be surprised.”
*************
B'Elanna and Tom arrived at the house and knocked. They were still surprised at the fact that Chakotay seemed to be in such a different mood than before he left their home the day before. They wondered whose house this was and whether this person had any information about Cerise. “B'Elanna, I’m telling you, I think this Captain Janeway’s house.”
“Well, we are in Indiana so I suppose it could be. Maybe this is good news. I sure hope for his sake it is.”
The door opened.
“B'Elanna, Tom, I’m glad you could come over. Come on in.” Chakotay said stepping aside to let them in.
“Tom, B'Elanna, it’s good to see you. It’s been a long time.” Kathryn welcome added to their surprise.
“Captain! Yes it has been a long time,” said B'Elanna sounding a bit surprise.
“Its just Kathryn now, Come on in. Chakotay already has started dinner.” She almost wanted to laugh at their surprised expressions.
Cerise came running in, “I’m helping Daddy cook too. Remember?”
“Of course you are, but first you have to meet our friends. Tom and B'Elanna, I would like you two to meet Cerise, my daughter and Chakotay’s niece. Cerise, this is Tom and B'Elanna and their daughter, Miral. They were with us on Voyager.”
The two girls greeted each other hesitantly before Cerise asked Miral to come help set the table in the dining room. Miral seemed hesitant, but was still quite young and so she followed Cerise into the dining room, quickly losing her shyness
“You found her?” B'Elanna exclaimed. “I can’t believe it!”
“I didn’t have to look very far. I came to see Kathryn, to make peace and to ask for her help. I found Kathryn, waiting for me to be released, with my niece. She was the one who adopted her," Chakotay explained.
“Oh, Chakotay, that’s wonderful,” said B'Elanna
wrapping her arms around him. “So, what is going between the two of you?
Cerise isn’t exactly calling you ‘uncle’ I noticed.”
“Well, it seems that Kathryn has made me the father figure, in absentia, in Cerise's life. Earlier this afternoon, we made Kathryn’s decision legally accurate. Tonight is a celebration of our new family and we couldn’t think of anyone else we’d rather share it with than you two.”
“Chakotay, tell them the rest of it.”
“Ok, I didn’t want to scare them off. Kathryn’s mother, Gretchen, was gracious enough to go out to dinner with some of her friends tonight. She’ll be back in about two hours . . . along with the rest of the Janeway family and half the neighborhood.”
“You mean this isn’t a quiet evening at home with a few friends?”
“No, this is the calm before the storm.
Now, come on, dinner is ready, the table is set, and the girls are hungry.”
*********
Chakotay made his way up the stairs, pausing to peek into Cerise's room. He then joined Kathryn in the bedroom, finding her staring out the window. "Hey, you ok?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her.
"Hmmm, yes I'm fine. Just thinking," she answered.
"What about?" he asked.
"Dorvan. How is it really going there?" she asked.
"Well, it's looking good, but they do have a long way to go."
"You know, I would like to go there again, see if there is anything else we could do to help."
Chakotay smiled, "Kathryn, if you want to go back, then let's do it. You won't get any arguing from me. We could bring them some more supplies, and offer what ever assistance we can for a little while."
"Oh I know, but … " she hesitated for a moment.
"Kathryn, what is it?"
"I guess I have something else in mind. Oh I do want to help them, but… Chakotay, there were a lot of kids in that orphanage, and chances are a lot of them will never be adopted."
"I know, I've been thinking the same thing." And after a moments silence " Kathryn are you saying you want to adopt more?" asked Chakotay.
"Yes, I do."
"Well then, I guess we need to make plans for another trip. If your ok with that," said Chakotay.
"We should talk to Cerise first, before we decide anything. See what she thinks about all of this," added Kathryn.
"Of course, in the morning, now we take care of ourselves," he said with a grin as he began placing kisses along her neck.
**********
Cerise sat on the couch listening to everything her mom and dad had to say, her face didn't show any emotion at this point.
"So honey, what do you think?" asked Kathryn.
"Well, I don't know." Cerise shrugged her shoulders.
"Is there a problem?" asked Chakotay.
Cerise put her head down and nodded, "Am I going to stay there?" she asked quietly.
"Stay there, of course not. Do you think we would leave you there?" asked Kathryn, now pulling her daughter into her arms.
"Why would you need another child, did I do something bad?" she asked, starting to cry.
"Honey, no. We aren't replacing you. We just know we have a lot to share here, and so do you. We want to give another child all that we can, just like you. And we want to give you someone to play with and share your things with too."
"Will you get a girl or a boy?" she asked looking up at Kathryn.
"I guess that is going to depend on who we find there, and on you. What do you want us to do?" Kathryn was drying the tears from the girl's cheeks.
"I guess it doesn’t matter, but I would like a sister." She said, beginning to smile.
"A sister huh, well why don't we make the plans for this little trip of ours and see what we find when we get there, ok."
"Ok mom," she said, no sign of her previous tears present.
*********
They planned the trip for the following month, sending a message ahead of their plans, and to find out what was needed most on the planet. Then, once supplies were procured, they headed out for Dorvan.
Cerise was now quite excited, now that she got over her fears of being left. She had clearly let them know that the more she thought about it, the more she wanted a sister. Kathryn knew Chakotay wanted a boy, but she had a feeling he would give in to Cerise and try to adopt a little girl.
The month passed quickly with the excitement of the trip, and soon they found it was already time to go. They had their possessions transported to the ship ahead of time, and were just finishing with the house. Mark had already agreed to stop by and check on it from time to time, so there was nothing left to do.
They said their good-byes to family and friends
and were off.
~~~~~~~~
Kathryn emerged from the bathroom and plopped onto the bed, "Hey are you ok?" asked Chakotay.
"Yeah, I think so."
"Give me a break, you were throwing up."
"Chakotay, It's just nerves, I'll be fine."
Chakotay didn't believe her, "Since when has space travel ever bothered you."
"Chakotay it's not just space travel, it's all of this. I guess I'm just nervous. Here we planned on doing this adoption, but we never took in consideration of your past."
"My past... I see." He said, a little put off.
"No Chakotay, don't misunderstand. It doesn't bother me, but it may bother them. After all they didn't want you adopting Cerise," she explained.
"Well, I didn't get any impression that it would be a problem when I spoke to them. I honestly think it was due to my being in prison at the time. Now I'm out, I'm happily married to the woman I love, don't worry love, it'll be ok."
She sunk into his arms, "I hope so."
~~~~~~~~
The rest of the trip went smoothly, at least on the outside it seemed to. Kathryn did not tell Chakotay that she had to make several more trips to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. She didn't need him to worry any more than he already was she was sure it was just a little bug or something.
Upon reaching the planet, their excitement grew. They were once again greeted by Antonio, who was just as pleased to see them, "Chakotay this is wonderful. I was so worried about you when you left."
"Well, I'm sure you remember Kathryn, and well I suppose Cerise has grown some since you last saw her," Chakotay said, as he introduced his family.
"She sure has, and I hear that you're here to expand that family," said Antonio.
"Yes, we came to deliver some more supplies, and to see about adopting another child," said Kathryn.
"That is wonderful, there are still a lot of children here waiting for families to adopt them. Come, let's get you settled, then we will see what has to be done."
They spoke to several people, arranging to have the supplies disbursed to where they needed to go, and then followed Antonio to his house. He cooked them a wonderful dinner, and enjoyed chatting with the family while they ate. "Kathryn, I noticed you haven't eaten much, is the food to your liking?"
"Oh sorry Antonio, it's wonderful, I guess I'm just not very hungry." She sighed then pushed back her plate, "Excuse me," she said, running from the table.
"Chakotay, is she ok?" asked Antonio sounding a little worried.
"I don't know, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this," he said, frowning and got up from the table. " She was throwing up on the ship, she thought she was hiding it, but I knew." He grabbed the med-kit that he brought from the ship, and joined Kathryn in the bathroom.
Antonio held back, hoping everything was ok. A few moments later they both emerged, Chakotay grinning, and Kathryn still reeling from the recent episode, "Go lie down for a while love, dinner will be waiting for you when you get back up.
Kathryn smiled slightly, "Don't you want to make the announcement?"
Cerise jumped up, "What is it mom, are you ok?"
Chakotay spoke up, "She is just fine, in fact better than fine." He showed Cerise the tricorder, "Do you know what that means?"
"It means mommy has two heartbeats, that's funny." the little girl pause then screamed, "Oh my god, mom, that means you have a baby in there."
"It sure does honey," noticing Cerise grew quiet, Kathryn asked, "how do you feel about that?" asked Kathryn.
"I think it's ok, are we still going to adopt another kid?" looking hopeful.
"I don't see why not, how about you Chakotay?" asked Kathryn.
"I still want to," said Chakotay.
"That’s good," said Cerise, "Cause I'm happy
about a baby but they aren't that fun to play with for a while."
The adults laughed, but Kathryn just sighed, "I think I'm going to go lay down now, I really don't feel well." She smiled at her daughter than went to the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~
After a brief nap Kathryn emerged feeling much better. She saw that Chakotay had already made the arrangements for the new supplies to be disbursed to the areas that needed them, "You got that done already?" she asked.
"We have people emptying the shuttle as we speak, all we have to do is go to the orphanage and find ourselves a kiddo."
"You want to do that tonight?" she asked.
"No, it would probably be better to do that in the morning. Why don't you try eating something, and taking it easy? I want to visit with Antonio for a while."
Kathryn grabbed a fruit and sat on the couch, she was quickly joined by Cerise, "Look what Antonio gave me," she said, handing Kathryn a holoimage. "It's my mommy, my real mommy when she was little. She had the tattoo even then, just like daddy."
"Hmm, yes, she looks just like you doesn't she?" said Kathryn.
"Yes, but I don't have that tattoo. I want one mom," said Cerise.
"Oh honey, I think you’re a little too young to get a tattoo."
"No I'm not, mommy was young too, please," she pleaded.
"Cerise, I said no," said Kathryn, raising her voice a little.
"Hey what's the problem here," said Chakotay interrupting the argument.
"Daddy, I want a tattoo just like you and my real mommy," stated Cerise.
"I don't see a problem with that," started Chakotay.
"Chakotay, I think I have already spoken my side of this, I said no," stated Kathryn angrily.
"And why do you see it as a problem," asked Chakotay. "This is a part of our heritage, I don't see why it should be a problem. Do you have a problem with me wearing this tattoo?"
"Chakotay that is not the issue here..."
"Mom, please I want it, I want to be just like my mommy!" said Cerise.
"I am your mommy now, and I don't have one." Kathryn began.
"No you're not, you're not my mommy," yelled Cerise as she stomped out of the room.
Kathryn burst into tears, burying her head in her hands. Chakotay immediately felt bad, he pulled her to him, "Kathryn, I'm sorry. Come on, we'll work this out. I don't understand why you so strongly are against this."
Kathryn opened her mouth to speak, tears still pouring down, "I don't know why. I just feel she's too young to display a tattoo across her face"
"It's a sign of our people Kathryn, this isn't something that should be hidden, my people are disappearing, I am proud to show people where I am coming from," explained Chakotay.
"I don't want it hidden," she began touching his tattoo. "Chakotay I don't know ... I think we have a lot we have neglected to talk about it. I don't want to fight about this, I just think..."
"Kathryn, we have rushed a lot of this. And maybe we should have taken more time to ..."
"Are you regretting getting married Chakotay?" Kathryn asked, tears still flowing. Stepping back, breaking his hold of her.
"Kathryn how could you ask that? I would never regret that, I love you."
Cerise came running back out, "Please don't fight, I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean what I said, please, I don't need that tattoo."
Kathryn and Chakotay look at each other sorrowfully, they didn't mean for this argument to go this far.
Kathryn picked the little girl up and hugged her, "Don’t worry honey, we'll work this out."
"You know, I have an idea, that I hope you'll like. See Kathryn, the tattoo is a symbol of family, one that is very important to our people. But it doesn't have to go on your forehead, nor does it have to be very big. I could design a tattoo, one much smaller, but different from my own, one that symbolizes our family. And if you approved, she could wear one in an inconspicuous place," explained Chakotay.
"Oh this was so stupid, I don't object the idea, really. I think my hormones are running away with me. I'm sorry," she said.
Chakotay pulled her back into his arms, "It's ok Kathryn, I have to remember to talk to you first before making decisions where our daughter is concerned."
"You know mommy, you could get one too, we all could have one," said Cerise. Excited about her idea.
Kathryn thought for a second and then smiled, "I think I would like that Cerise."
~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been two weeks since the fight, all was now fine, in fact it couldn't have been better. Kathryn had their new daughter bouncing on her lap, with Cerise sitting next to her still nursing her sore shoulder. They were all watching Antonio place the tattoo the two of them had just received, on Chakotay shoulder.
They hadn't yet put one on Malaya, she was too new in the family and needed time to adjust to the adoption. She was four years old and a very happy child, quickly falling in love with her new family.
Kathryn and Chakotay had no idea when they walked into the orphanage that they would fall so head over heals in love with this little girl. They had almost convinced themselves to get a boy, but when little four year old Malaya came bounding up to them filling them with questions, they knew she was the one they were looking for.
Even Cerise immediately took a liking to her, despite their age differences they seemed to get along perfectly. It only took a couple days for Malaya to begin calling them Mommy and Daddy. And she seemed to get a kick out of calling Cerise sissy.
"Mommy, I want one of those," Malaya stated.
"Oh don't worry, you will, but later ok?" said Kathryn.
"No, now, just like sissy has."
"Are you sure Malaya, it hurts a lot," Cerise said, trying to help her mom out.
"A lot? Like worse than falling down?" she asked. More than clearly having second thoughts.
"Yeah, worse than that. You could wait until your older then maybe it won't hurt as much," Cerise explained.
"Will I still get one if I wait mommy?" Malaya asked.
"Oh of course, and so will the baby in my belly," said Kathryn.
"He will have to wait too, huh?"
"Yep, he will have to wait until he's older too, that is, if it’s a boy," said Kathryn.
"It'll be a boy," said Cerise, "daddy is going to need a boy now, with all of us girls around."
Kathryn laughed, "I think your right."
~~~~~~~~~
The family stayed one more week before heading back to Earth. But not before making promises to return once the baby was born, they were going to miss the people here but were anxious to get back home.
They knew that their family and friends at home were all anxious to meet the newest member of the family, and they also had an announcement to make. So after a long and tearful goodbye, the now larger family boarded the transport for the long trip home.
Malaya was excited to meet the rest of her family, learning quickly just how large it would be. She found it hard to understand that the former crew of Voyager was just as much family as Kathryn's mother and sister were. To her all that mattered was that she went from no family to one bigger than she ever imagined having.
They arrived home a week later, and were immediately greeted as they stepped off the ship. Tom and B'Elanna and little Miral were there along with Kathryn's mom and sister. Malaya went to everyone, not being even a little bit shy.
Kathryn and Chakotay were hoping to keep their other news private until they got home but Malaya quickly ruined that plan, "You should see the tattoo they all got," she said. "Me or the new baby in mommy's tummy have to wait to get one of those."
"Tattoo? Baby? Is there something you are forgetting to tell us?" said Gretchen while Phoebe burst out laughing.
"Well," said Kathryn, looking from her mother and sister to Chakotay. "we were hoping to tell you this when we got home, but yes, we are pregnant."
"Damn old man, you go from nothing, to a family of three," laughed B'Elanna.
"I never had nothing B'E, I was just too stubborn to notice it," he said honestly.
"Well, I'm glad to see you were wrong," said B'Elanna.
"I am too B'Elanna," he said with a smile.
~~~~~~~~~
Epilogue:
Everyone stood around waiting for the news, Malaya sat on B'Elanna's lap chatting with Miral. Her big sister chose to go into the bedroom to watch the birth, while Malaya didn't think she would like it.
Kathryn and Chakotay chose to give birth at home, and had told both girls they would be allowed to watch. Miral would get up every few minutes, walk over to the open door, and then quickly return to her spot on the couch. B'Elanna had a feeling it had to do with Kathryn screams of pain, Malaya was just too young to understand that the pain was necessary to bring the new life into the world.
Chakotay assured Malaya that it was ok and she could wait outside, and he also let Cerise know it wasn't necessary for her to be there. She then assured her dad that she wouldn't miss it for the world and now was quietly sitting in the corner waiting for her little brother or sister to appear.
It was hard for her to remain quiet, but she managed until she saw the head appear, "Oh my god daddy, he's coming."
Chakotay just smiled and watched the Doctor expertly guide his son into the world, "Congratulations, it's a boy."
Cerise jumped up from her spot, "A boy! I knew it. Oh daddy look at him a boy all for me."
Chakotay laughed, "How about all for all of us honey? Hey, do you want to be the one to make the announcement?" he asked.
"Can I? Please?" she said enthusiastically.
"Go ahead sweetheart," he said, motioning to the door, then turning back to his exhausted wife, "Kathryn, you couldn't have given me a greater gift. Thank you love."
She smiled, "Your welcome, I love you Chakotay."
"I love you too," he said. The rest of his family was beginning to make their way into the room one by one to peer at the new arrival, he couldn't have felt more proud. He once was an angry warrior who thought he would never know peace, but now, through the bonds of his new family, he knew he would only live in peace, here and in the after life.
End