First House
By Sheri
Rated Nc17
Kathryn took another sip of her coffee, still watching the man sitting across from her over the rim of her cup. He hadn't yet moved; his head was still bowed into his hands looking defeated.
Kathryn hadn't known him very long; he sat next to her in her Astrophysics class and she quickly found Chakotay was a man she could easily talk to.
Chakotay had a great sense of humor, something Kathryn felt was seriously lacking in her life. He sometimes talked a little too much yet at other times he would grow so quiet that it would completely unsettle her.
But never once had he been like this, looking so defeated.
"Chakotay, talk to me," she pleaded.
"I'm a fool; it's that plain and that simple," he said, through his hands.
She reached over, prying his hand off his face. "You are not a fool Chakotay. You are a kind man who maybe doesn't realize…"
Chakotay looked up at her and continued her sentence, "When I'm being walked all over. Kathryn? I slept with her, told her… damn…"
"What, Chakotay? Tell me," she pleaded once again.
"I told her I loved her, said I would always be there and there she was sleeping with every man she came across. I was only another warm body to keep her tied over until the next one," he cried.
"Runaround Sue," Kathryn mumbled.
Chakotay head shot up at her comment, "What?"
"Oh, Chakotay, I'm sorry," she said, instantly regretting her words.
"No, please tell me," he said.
"Well, most of us, well, some of us at least knew her… reputation quite well. She's called Runaround Sue, after this old song from the twentieth century," she said. She saw Chakotay instantly cringe and felt sorry for him, "I'm sorry."
"What for? It wasn't you who used me like…I'm the one who should be apologizing, Kath. I didn't mean to come here and dump on you like this," he said. "My next class is coming up, I suppose I should get going," he said softly.
"Your next class isn't for another two hours and I don't mind, Chakotay," she said. "I'm glad we became friends and I'm glad I can be here for you like this."
"Has it ever happened to you?" he asked.
"Well, I haven't had the best track record with guys but no, I can't really say it has. But, I also… well, let's just say I haven't put myself into a situation where that could happen."
Chakotay smiled at her, "What do you mean?"
She gave him a smile back. "Never mind. Chakotay, I do know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you care about but…" She didn't have time to finish her sentence, her COMM badge beeped with a request reminding her of a meeting she had in ten minutes. "Shit, I'm sorry, Chakotay. Can we continue this later?"
"Sure, no problem, Kath," he said with a smile that was definitely more forced than sincere.
She approached him and laid her hand on his arm. "I promise, Chakotay. How about after all our classes this evening?"
"Don't you have to study?" he asked.
"Of course I do, but I can put that off. We'll meet later okay? How about nineteen hundred hours?"
"Sounds fine." he said. "In front of the science building?"
"Sure, see you then," she said before dashing off.
=^=
They both arrived on time, noticing the grounds still teaming with students. Chakotay looked around then to Kathryn, "You don’t mind if we go somewhere a little more quiet do you?"
"No, not at all. Where did you have in mind?" she asked.
"Well, I have this place I like to go and think. We'll have to transport there, do you mind?"
"No, so what are we waiting for?" she asked grabbing his hand.
They walked in silence to the transport station where Chakotay approached the transport technician and whispered something to him. The man nodded and Chakotay motioned for Kathryn to step up onto the transporter.
There was the momentary tingle then they materialized in the middle of the woods. Despite the fact that it was still daylight, the surrounding trees made it appear darker than it really was, causing Kathryn to shrink back next to Chakotay for a moment.
"Where are we? She asked, regaining her courage for the moment.
"Don't worry, Kathryn, I'm still the gentleman that everyone thinks I am. I just… like it here. I don't know why," he said. "I found it when I went exploring one day. It’s a ghost town."
Kathryn chuckled, "a ghost town?"
"Well, it's been abandoned for at least a couple hundred years. Most of the houses have come down but there are some that are still standing. Come on," he said, leading her down the small path that may have once been a road.
She followed, now excited at seeing a part of history. "So what town was this? Who used to live here? Why did it die out?"
He laughed at her. "I don't know the name of the town, never actually tried to find out. I don't know who used to live here and I have no idea why it died out. I have been curious to look it up though, but with my studies I guess I haven't found the time."
As the passed by the remains of a few houses, Kathryn gasped. "How could you not want to find out? I don’t think I could wait. I want to know about this place. Most of the ghost towns of the past were leveled for new construction. How they could miss this one is beyond me. "
"Does your mind ever stop working?" he asked.
"No, it doesn't. I've always been curious, always liked trying new things, finding new things," she went quiet for a moment.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, stopping for a moment to look at her.
"I don't know, guess all this reminded me of … another heartache. But that’s just me. I think I'm destined to become a Starfleet officer and not the love of someone's life. I'm not that easy to live with," she said.
"Now, that can't be true," said Chakotay, continuing the journey. "there is a house just up ahead; we'll be able to see it as soon as we round that corner."
"Is it safe to go in?" she asked, grateful for the change of subject.
"Of course, I've even left a few things there for when I want to get away. Call it my poor man's vacation home," he laughed.
"Sounds interesting… wow, is that it?" she asked as she saw the large house looming in the distance.
"Yeah, that’s it. Now, I've never gone upstairs, there is something about those rotting stairs that keeps me from doing it," he chuckled. "But I assure you, the main floor is perfectly stable; I wouldn't take you there if it wasn't."
"I trust you, Chakotay," she said.
They reached the house and he took her around back. He moved to the back window, and reached up, giving it a push. It moved up easily, then he hoisted himself up, "I'll be right back," he said before disappearing through the window.
Kathryn was startled when the back door swung open. "Come on in," said Chakotay.
She moved up the steps and into the dark house, feeling Chakotay grab her hand and lead the way. "I have my little corner set up over here. There's a lantern, so it won't be so dark for long."
She followed him blindly and blinked as the lantern lit the room. Looking around she found herself moving from corner to corner, examining the broken contents of the house. There wasn't much left, a couch that she wouldn't sit on even if a Ferengi drop a pound of latinum in her lap if she would sit on it. What had probably been a wooden chair or two in the corner but were no longer very recognizable. A faded picture hung on the wall, flowers of some type but Kathryn could no longer tell what kind.
"Sorry, I know it isn't very pretty…" began Chakotay.
"No, it's great. I can see why you like it here," she said.
"It's dirty, I know, but …"
"Chakotay, you don't have to impress me. We are here to talk," she said. "And the place is fine. I really do like it."
"Okay, so… what was bothering you back there?" he asked, gesturing for her to sit on the blanket he had spread out on the dirty floor.
She sat behind him. "Nothing important really. I was just remembering when I went exploring with this boy I dated in high school. Much like this, it wasn’t anything to look at, a cave, but I found…well, that’s not important. Basically that was when we broke up. I guess I wasn't his type at all. I've often wondered why he even went out with me."
"Now that is just ridiculous," started Chakotay. "You are beautiful, you're smart and you're easy to talk to."
"I am far from beautiful, my hair is awful, my face is plain and yes, my brain can work rather well, but guys don't like that kind of thing. I'm good to have around, help with homework but beyond that, no way." She took a deep breath, calming herself, "Besides, I thought we were here to talk about you."
"I'm trying to avoid that subject. I'm hopeless and think I should just forget about women for the time being. The right woman seems to be hiding from me."
"You'll find her someday, Chakotay, " said Kathryn, positively.
"I guess I'm just… disappointed. I don't sleep around, really I don’t. I have been with a few women but I really thought they meant something to me. Well, not Sveta, but that was different," he said.
"What was different about her?" asked Kathryn.
"Well, she was my first. We weren’t in a relationship. I guess you could say she was just doing me a favor," he admitted.
"A favor? You mean, you had sex with her just to get rid of your …" asked Kathryn sounding shocked.
"Don't sound so surprised. It was much better than making a complete ass out of myself with someone I cared about. I didn't know much of what to do and she wanted to make sure I would know what to do. We did it a few times, each time showing me something else women enjoyed, and making sure I did it right," explained Chakotay. "I will be forever grateful to her for it. She made it special for me without making it a commitment."
"I see," said Kathryn.
"What was your first time like? Was it that bad?" asked Chakotay.
Kathryn just looked away, staring off into the corner. Chakotay put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look back at him, "Kathryn, was it that bad?"
"I haven't had a first time yet, so go ahead and laugh, Chakotay. I'm a virgin," she said angrily.
"Kathryn, that’s nothing to laugh at. You are still young…" he began.
"I'm twenty, Chakotay, twenty and no one will touch me. No one ever wants to. They don't even try," she cried out. "I'm such a reject."
Chakotay closed his eyes briefly, wondering how in the world someone so beautiful could actually think so little about herself. "Kathryn," he began, opening his eyes, "you have to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I can honestly tell you the only reason I haven't tried anything is because I know you aren't interested in me, and that’s okay. But don’t think men aren’t interested in you because believe me, they are."
Kathryn just stared at him, shocked over what he had just said, "You think I'm beautiful? Someone like you?"
It was Chakotay's turn to look startled, "What do you mean? Someone like me?"
"Well, like you, you're perfect. Women drool all over you; they practically line up just to be with you. Unfortunately for you, they use you just so they can get in bed with you. Men like you only like women like me because they know they DON’T have to sleep with them, have a relationship with them. Men like you know I'm safe, which is why I'm okay to hang out with but nothing else."
Chakotay took a deep breath, "First of all, Kathryn, I am not like every other man so do not categorize me in with them. Second of all, I don't have women lining up just to be with me and sleep with me. I have been with three women, the last you know about, the first I just told you about and the second one isn't worth mentioning. And most importantly, I hang out with you because I like you and if it weren't for the fact that I am graduating in a few months and will be leaving, I would love to have a relationship with you. A part of me even wants to try but I think I would hate leaving you and it wouldn't be fair to you."
Kathryn simply stayed quiet. This was not the conversation she had planned on having with him. A big part of her wanted to doubt him, thinking he was just saying it to make her feel better but he was right. Chakotay wasn't like all the other men. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it Chakotay. Forget I even told you, okay?"
"Told me? You mean, that you’re a virgin? I have no problem with that, Kathryn," he said. He then leaned in close, "But, and you can hit me if I sound like a pig, but if you want to take care of that little problem, just ask. I would hate to find out your first experience isn't with someone who cares for you and just wants…"
"Chakotay, I can't believe…oh geez, I'm not some charity case. Listen, maybe I should just go," she said, getting up with a huff.
"Please don't. I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is …well, Sveta gave me herself as a gift, teaching me, showing me, helping me through a very nerve wracking experience. I just wanted… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have offered."
Kathryn slowly sat back down on the blanket. "I know, I shouldn't have over reacted. It is a nice thought, but, I …"
"Do you want to?" he asked, softly.
"Yes," she whispered, "but I'm scared."
He leaned in close, placing a gentle but promising kiss on her lips. "This isn't the most romantic place…"
Kathryn smiled. "Its perfect," she said, before kissing him softly back.
He returned the kiss, slowly easing her back until she was lying down. He climbed on top of her, pulling her close as his tongue probed beyond her lips, searching her mouth. He felt her stiffen beneath him so he stopped, propping himself up on his elbows. "Are you okay?"
She bit her lower lip and looked away.
"Hey, tell me. This will be no good if you can't tell me what you do and don’t like," he said.
"I … I don't like that," she whispered.
"What I was doing with my tongue?" he asked.
She nodded, "It … doesn't feel right."
"Okay, that’s fine," he said, "just keep telling me, so we can do this right for you."
He continued to kiss her, open mouthed, but never invading. His hands began softly exploring as his lips left her mouth and followed the trail his hands made. He slid down her body, his hands grasping her shirt and inching it up, exposing her skin. He then placed gentle kisses on her belly, moving up to where her small mounds were hidden by a delicate lacy bra.
He reached around her back, watching her arch off the ground, letting him know it was okay, and undid her bra, easing it up past her breasts. He then leaned in close, latching onto one, then the other, teasing the nipples into hardness, feeling Kathryn writhe underneath him. She let out a small groan of pleasure, which brought a smile to his face.
He replaced his mouth with his hand, while the other moved to the waist of her pants. He began to inch them down and felt Kathryn's hand on his, "I'm not sure…" she said breathily.
"If you don’t want to do this, just say so, Kathryn," he said.
"I…" she began, "could you go first?" she asked.
He nodded in understanding and stood, pulling off his clothes slowly, letting her get a full view. He was left in just his underwear, his erection peeking out of the corner. Kathryn sat up then reached up as if she wanted to touch it, then pulled back. He tried not to laugh; it wasn't funny but rather cute. He then pulled off his underwear, taking his member in hand and slowly stroking it. "He likes to be touched. Do you want to try?"
Kathryn nodded and hesitantly reached out for it, first touching the head, then allowing her hand to wrap around the shaft, she unconsciously leaned forward, her tongue snaking out to taste him, eliciting a groan from Chakotay. She took that as a sign, and wrapped her mouth around him, but as soon as he thrust forward, she gagged and pulled back, "Sorry, Kathryn."
"That’s okay, I just wanted to try it. I don’t think I want to …"
"It's my turn to taste," he said, pushing her back down and kneeling between her legs. He reached for her pants and pulled them down, along with her underwear, then settled himself between her legs. He felt her hand on his head, "Are you going to…"
"Yes, I am," he said firmly, "I happen to like to do this, Kathryn, and I think you will rather enjoy it, so lie back."
She did as told, tensing up briefly, but then relaxing. She jumped when she felt his tongue touch her, a shot of electricity that seemed to go throughout her. He was relentless, licking and sucking in all the right places until she felt a tingle that seemed to continuously grow until she exploded against his mouth. He didn't stop there, but continued to lick, slower this time, bringing her down from her high.
He finally stopped, then moved back up her body until he was face to face with her. He felt her wrap her legs around his waist, and he leaned in close, kissing her, letting her taste herself on his lips. Pulling away he whispered, "are you ready?"
She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them, looking him directly in the eye. "Yes," she said softly.
"Take it, put it in, Kathryn," he said.
She opened her mouth to protest but found it covered by Chakotay's, who then took her hand, guiding it to his aching member. She grasped it, and understood, it had to be her choice to take this step; he wasn’t going to force her.
Kathryn guided him to her entrance, placing the tip at her opening before removing her hand and wrapping her arms around his neck. He slid in slowly and Kathryn cried out. "Shhh, it's okay," he whispered, as he continued to inch his way in until he couldn't move anymore. He stopped there, bending down to kiss her, "Oh, Kathryn, you feel wonderful."
Chakotay pulled out slowly then thrust in, Kathryn cried out, her nails digging into his back. Chakotay instantly felt remorse, "I'm so sorry. Want me to stop?"
She bit back the tears, shaking her head, "Please don’t, I knew it would hurt."
"Kathryn, this shouldn't be a painful experience for you," he said softly. "It should be …"
"Wonderful, it is, Chakotay, and it doesn’t hurt that bad. Please don’t stop," she begged.
He nodded then continued slowly pumping in and out, hearing her cries go from those of pain to pleasure. He reached between them, rubbing her clit, trying to bring her even more pleasure as he knew his control was almost gone.
A few more thrusts and he groaned, spilling his seed inside of her. He collapsed on her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. He rolled on his side, taking her with him, then opened his eyes to find her looking back at him. "Are you okay?"
"Quit asking that, I'm fine," she said. "Chakotay?"
"Hmm?" he said sleepily.
"Thank you," she said before snuggling into his neck.
"You are most welcome, Kathryn, thank you," he returned.
"For what?" she asked.
"For giving me your most precious gift," he said.
=^=
Kathryn sighed, taking Chakotay's hand in hers, "I can't believe it's been torn down."
Chakotay pulled her against him, resting his head on hers. "I know; I loved that place."
They had been home from the Delta Quadrant for only a few weeks, never once indulging in the pleasure they had found so many years ago. Chakotay understood Kathryn's reasons for holding back and in fact, agreed with her.
They had tried to keep their friendship up after that night but once Chakotay graduated he was off on one assignment another. They had never seen each other again, that is until that fateful day with the Caretaker.
Now that they were home, they had already had begun an intimate relationship but they both still wondered if the relationship could work. They wanted to try and found themselves back at the old house in the woods, or what was left of the house.
"It's possible it just fell down; it doesn’t look like anyone has even been here," said Kathryn.
"My vacation house, damn, isn't much of one anymore," said Chakotay with a chuckle.
"It wasn't much of one in the first place, Chakotay," Kathryn laughed back.
"It held a great memory though," he said, kissing the top of her head.
"It sure did. You can't possibly know how much that meant to me, Chakotay," she said.
"I hurt you, Kathryn…" he began.
"Of course it hurt, Chakotay, I knew it would, but it was so special…"
"It can still be special," he said.
"Yes, it can," she said softy.
"We'll need a new house though," he said.
"We can find one, and create new memories," she said, turning in her arms, facing him. He leaned down, kissing her, feeling her return the kiss.
"Thank you for being my first, Chakotay, and thank you for being my last."